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i keep telling her to leave me alone but she wont, (the voice in my head that is).
i just want some peace and quiet in my head that is all, is that too much? this constant badgering of myself in my head is forcing me into insantiy and doing things i do not want to do.
yes i have control still but for instance, i say to myself, that dress surely looks nice i would love to buy that, she says, oh you don't need that, you'd never wear it anyway.
i say to myself, i should go to bed so i wont be tired in the morning, she says, just can't hang anymore eh?
i say to myself, that cookie sure looks good but i wont have it, she says, go ahead eat it, you deserve it, it wont kill you, so i eat then and am instantly filled with regret (am dieting here), then she rases me for feeling guilty.
i tell ya i can't get away from her! she is like a thorn in my side that wont go away, like a hernia, like an arupted appendix, such a pain but i can't get her to shut her big mouth!
she constantly badgers me, she constantly undermines everything and anything that i say or want to say, either in a good way or a bad way, either way when i make a decision to do something she is right there to undo it for me, supposedly in my best interest?
i told her the other day, to shut the hell up or i was going to move far far away from her.
she was quite silent for a nice short minute, then piped up and said, hah, you wont ever move away from her.
almost mocking me! how do you shut this noise off! if she had something productive to say to me, then i would love listening to her.
she even has the nerve to say to me when my hunny makes and advance at me to make love,she says, how dare he think you want him, how dare he impose himself on you this way!
can you believe this? how insane is this? what is her bag anyway? and how do i open it and get rid of it all?
does anyone here know what i am talking about!!!!????????
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