Location: the easter bunny has eggs! breathe in; breathe out. there is still wonder in the world :)
Posts: 2,735
characteristics of good girlfriends/boyfriends?
i think many people on forum may be unfamiliar with good healthy relationships - i know i was until i had my first excellent boyfriend. we slowly begin to realize what traits make a person manipulative, dysfunctional, or otherwise a destructive match - but do we keep a consistent sense of what makes a 'good' match?
let me try to ask more specifically. is there a point in which you have thought: o! i'm in a great relationship! (and were not disillusioned afterwards) mine might include:
-guy staying at my bedside while i had 103 fever for four days
-both of us fighting for the right to be the designated driver
-*wanting* to labour for him
-having him as a reason to get up and work out, do well in school, work, etc
-learning a significant amount about new subjects from him
-being ok with breaking up with him and him finding new love, wishing him well
-no one ever tried to fix or change each other in relationship
-fighting against something together - i.e. protesting or working on project together
-no one ever tried to fix or change each other in relationship
What about changing them for the better? Say like he/she is addicted to something? Or how about if the person you are involved w/ was slutty? I guess what I'm trying to say is could a person have an enough impact to change the other person for good or even for bad? This is just one of the questions lingering in my mind.
Oh yeah by the way I really like your icon Jenny, it makes me giggle like a school girl.
Location: the easter bunny has eggs! breathe in; breathe out. there is still wonder in the world :)
Posts: 2,735
hmmm. i'm a firm believer of not being one of those women who want to change men, but i take your point. i think accidental, influential, change is ok - i certainly have straightened up because of good men - but people who take on 'projects' are kind of patronizing and demeaning, IMO.
so many women hurt themselves a great deal thinking they can 'change' men, and it breaks my heart. at the end of the day, nothing is a certainty but one's own behaviour.
being ok with breaking up with him and him finding new love, wishing him well
Have you been through this before? I'm afraid my ex is going to go back to his ex at some point in time even though he says he fell out of love with her and won't go back.
I think you have some very good points there jenny. Just to add a few things
- having the right balance of independence from each other and dependence on each other
- not taking one another for granted over the long term
- willingness to be honest and communicate feelings and not being afraid to say them
Originally posted by Colt2187
What about changing them for the better?
You yourself can't change people. They can only change themselves. You could help them, mebbe be their motivation. But the change has to come from themselves.
I agree that you can't change a person. I think encouraging someone is the best thing to do in a relationship. Even motivation must come from you and only you.
Blockhead, your icon looks like it could be jenny's cousin or something. sorry, had to say it
Location: the easter bunny has eggs! breathe in; breathe out. there is still wonder in the world :)
Posts: 2,735
Quote:
Blockhead, your icon looks like it could be jenny's cousin or something.
lol! they are; my little guy is the black sheep of the Cubed avatar family. he got shunned after eating a number of Blockhead's relatives, hence the sorrow.
Originally posted by jenny
lol! they are; my little guy is the black sheep of the Cubed avatar family. he got shunned after eating a number of Blockhead's relatives, hence the sorrow.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't your avatar the minion who smites kittens every time you masturbate, as seen here?
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they are; my little guy is the black sheep of the Cubed avatar family. he got shunned after eating a number of Blockhead's relatives, hence the sorrow.
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