[lost lamb]

I will summarize my story:
We were together for almost 4 years, living together for 2, broken up now for almost 6 weeks. It was a given we were it for eachother, future was always talked about but we were so confident that we weren't in a rush to be married. He's a major workaholic, admittedly obsessed. I always encouraged and supported his work, but resented him for always being second to his work. Anyway, I know now that it was a mistake to move in together before marriage because we got too comfortable, he took me for granted, and I was too controlling. I was feeling hopeless about the relationship so the breakup was mutual, I moved out, but I now realize that we can really fix this. I talked to him about possible reconciliation twice, both times we were interupted and all he could say is that he is very confused, but the vibe from him was good. Since then, he's contacted me a few times, all small talk. He'll IM me "hello" and not say much after that unless I do. He is definitely one that hates confrontations. I think he is being a coward. It seems that he still feels hopeless but also still has feelings. Overall, the relationship was extremely healthy and loving.

So, what should I do?
- My elliptical machine is still at the house, that is really our last tie, should I just get it now? It may scare him that I'm really gone.
- after reading everyone else's stories, everyone says to give the other person time. Should I just wait for him to make any big moves? But the fear is that he is really starting to get over this. He is the type to get over things easily.
- I'm feeling impatient now, should I just tell him everything and ask for answers? I know this is probably not a great idea since I want to get back together, but he is more comfortable with me than anyone, shouldn't I be able to just be honest? Also, if this is really the end, part of me needs to just hear it in order to move on.

Thanks for reading and thanks for any advice you may offer!

[InLoKo]

If he is confused, give him time to work it all out in his mind. If your relationship was as strong as you say, he really won't get over you in just 6 weeks, will he. I know people should be able to be honest with each other, but it isn't always as smple as that when so many human emotions are in the equation. ie. desire, fear, control, insecurities, etc. It's a very delicate balance. Also, if he was taking you for granted, the chances are he could be thinking "Oh, she'll be back!" Forget the eliptical machine, too. You don't need it now. Your relationship is more important, surely. If you are important to him, he will make the effort. Give him the time and space he obviously needs.

[lost lamb]

thanks inloko, i think you're right on about everything, i guess i'm just worried that even when he does decide he wants to be with me, he won't do anything about it. he's kind of chicken, he's not the kind of guy to ever persue someone or initiate anything.

[lost lamb]

oh damn, i left out an important part of this: he possibly thinks that i'm better off without him.