[chattykatey]

My son invited us to his home for a few days between Christmas and new year. We bought plane tickets and the night before we were due to go he phoned and said his girlfriend was not in the mood for visitors, so we told him we already had the tickets and were all ready. He said ok. Then he texed his dad and it read 'don't bother making the journey, we want no visitors, sorry'.

My husband is livid and told him not to contact us again. But I have a grandchild due in July. It is so upsetting. I am frightened I will not see my first grandchild. My husband said he does not care as there would be friction over it anyway.

[HokeyReligions]

I wish I had a good response for you. That is a terrible thing to do to you, and yet he has to put his wife first. I'll bet they had a doozy of a fight over all of this.

When your grandchild is born (Congrats!) plan a visit and just tell then that you won't stay with them but that you want to see your grandchild. Talk to her if you must and tell her that you don't want to interfere or make it hard on her, but that you love your son and your grandchild and just want a brief visit and that you don't expect her to entertain you or even see you if she's not in the mood for visitors.

Good luck on this - I hope it all blows over for all of you.

[Cariel]

you might want to steel yourself for the future...my brother married a girl 15 years ago who despised the entire family and I think my parents have seen them a total of 6 times since then, three of the visits to be with 2 little grandsons. She had a horrible family life and once she had my brother she decided he was hers and hers alone, she wasn't sharing, end of story. This - of course - did not apply to her own brothers and sisters, with whom they visited and vacationed from the beginning.

Truth be told, it would probably have gone better if my mother had been less clingy and more willing to release her children (she's still trying to re-loop those apron strings, and we're in our 40s, LOL!). My sister-in-law has finally decided after all these years that I'm no threat and there is a standing invite for me to visit any time, but talk about a rock and a hard place!

My father, BTW, responds to this situation exactly as your husband does.

Dear, I'm afraid the best you can do is to demonstrate to the girl that you are NOT a threat and wish only to visit with your son and future grandchild, not steal them away from her. Good luck to you, and I hope you'll be able to enjoy your grandchild when he/she arrives