Bark, I just wanted to say "thanks" for your thoughtful, considerate post, and the feeling's mutual: I think your contributions to the forum have been cogent, and you always work to balance opinion with sensitivity to the feelings of others.
Regarding my situation, it all took me by surprise. Truth is, for the better part of five months, I've held it in check, dated other women and just gone about my life. I've always known that I had a little crush on her, but it was one of those things that, until now, I had just kind of said to myself "Yeah, that would be nice (to be with her), but...of course I can't. I'm cool with just being friends." But the last three weeks have been strange, and I sense something happening that I can't quite describe. I don't know whether it's just a closer friendship, or if it's bordering on something romantic. Again, I mean it: I would never want to get in the way of her marriage, because even if I wanted to make a move, I know that I wouldn't be acting much like a good friend. Even though I might occasionally fantasize about a scenario in which we get together somehow, I am very much aware of the reality. It would cause her tremendous pain, just as it would her husband. She'd have to deal with the guilt that comes with leaving someone she loves, and I know she loves him. How strong her marriage is something I've not asked, nor will I. That's not my business, and I'm aware of our boundaries. If she tells me things and asks for my opinions, I will give them to her where I feel it's appropriate to do so. I've even said to her before that we (she, her husband and I) should all go out to eat or something sometime, but she hasn't really said "yes". I know he works a lot so maybe she's just bored or occasionally lonely. I don't know.
Neither of us have manifest our feelings toward each other, assuming there are any for me on her part at all. I like her very much as a friend and I'm reluctant to just throw away a friendship fearing I might do something stupid in the future. I'd like to think I've got good self control. This is maybe the most awkward situation I've ever been in. Holidays make it worse because I start thinking about how nice it would be to have someone with me (I don't necessarily mean her - just someone who fills that void). It's kept me up the last few nights.
They might not notice. Hit the 'contact us' button.
Holidays make it worse because I start thinking about how nice it would be to have someone with me
It doesn't help much, of course, and you know this, of course, but there's lots of people in the same boat. So here's to '04 and the possibilities it brings!
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
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