[Medgirl]

Ok, I've been trying for a long time now to get over this problem I have and I'm driving myself insane. I have the most difficult time trusting my boyfriend and I don't know why.

I know that part of it is because I tell myself things like "He's probably out with so and so" or "maybe he's getting back together with his ex", but he hasn't given me ANY reason not to trust him. I know that if I go crazy like this that it will have a detrimental effect on our relationship.

I get so nervous and anxious when I call his house and he's not there. But I don't get anxious any time of the day, I get anxious only when he isn't home in the evening and I have no idea where he is. I know that he has tons of friends that he likes to visit, but it still bothers me. I'm driving myself up the wall.

If I get so anxious about him how can I ever deal with it with anyone else? I never had this problem with my ex boyfriend. What's my problem?

[mjk]

Its not like you have a problem per say...

But I'd guess that you haven't been together very long. it common for couples to feel "insecure" when they are apart.

But you must trust him if has given you NO reason not to. If you don't, you'll be hurting yourself and him too.

[Medgirl]

Thank you for your reply and I have taken that into consideration. We've been together for about 3? months now. It seems like the more and more I fall for him the more crazy I get about it.

I suppose it's just going to take some time. I've given it a lot of thought as to what's the difference between he and my ex. I think it's because when my ex and I started dating we were both 16 years old and stupid. Plus, while my ex was very attractive, he had had some serious self confidence issues and wouldn't dare approach another girl. My boyfriend now is 27 years old and pretty damn charming.

Should I just give it a leap of faith? Or trust my "gut instinct"?

[reservoirdog1]

I'm with MJK on this one. In spite of the fact that my to-be-XW spent seven years sh*tting all over my trust for her, I still firmly believe that your first impulse with somebody new must be to trust them. If you don't, you'll never feel able to get close enough to anybody to develop something meaningful and you'll be miserable as a result. I also believe that the majority of people -- women and men -- fundamentally just want to be loved and love in return. Unfortunately, it's the minority, including my TBEW, who tend to bugger up this perception for everybody.

[moimeme]

Great post, great sig quotes, RD.