Friend hooked me up with her GF in August. We chatted online for about 4 weeks before I went down to see her at work, we hit it off and date for 2 months. Relatioship starting going down hill after the 3rd date ... I asked her out on the 2nd. She held my hand on the second and refused after that saying she was not into the touching thing ... that meant no putting the arm around her or anything. She told me on the phone that she would not give BJ, HJ's or anything else. I knew making out was an option but she straight out told me her last BF sucked at it, but she told me if I asked she would consider. I asked andgot an okay, but then got denied infront of her house. This happened a second time, she refused to sit close to me at parties. I went to her work everytime she asked and remembered the anniversaries and bought her flowers. Well I got LJBF ... on our 2 month anniverary. I asked for a breakup makeout session, never happened as she threw a hissy fit about the situation, even thought the breakup was mutual (mostly her) and we stopped talking for a few weeks, now we are constantly writing TXT messages back and forth and talk with each other on the phone ... we never discuss our dating lifes. Yesterday one of her friends enlightened me on the fact that she (ex gf) was home alone for 4 days and one night she had 2 GF and a guy come over who she knew for 1 year. She liked him and started making out with him on the couch and almost had sex. He then went into her work and grabbed her ass saying they needed to hang out more and now she seems to be confused if he really likes her as GF material. I feel betrayed and cheated and I need to makeout with her atleast once for closure, its bothered me and since yesterday I am experiencing sleeping problems ... HOW SHOULD I DEAL WITH THIS? I got dissed for 2 months and she just macks some random guy. GUH!
You needed to make out with her once just for closure??? Gimmee a break. This gal gave you all kinds of hints all along that she wasn't into you, that at least she wasn't ready, and you just hung in there. You have to understand that timing is important in relationships and you have to catch a potential partner when she is absolutely ready for new things to happen.
I'm sorry, but you got all the hints you needed all along to make the decision to stop seeing her and you didn't take them. If you really think you need to make out with her to get closure, you may need counselling or a serious adjustment in your thinking process.
This is over and you need to move on and put your energy where it can be used best...with somebody who cares about you and is open to your advances. Love doesn't get blueprinted out. It's spontaneous and it happens in its own time...or it doesn't happen. Don't press the issue...it will press yours if it is to happen at all.
If you feel you are going to have a mental collapse (sounds serious to me, whatever that is), you might want to see a doctor to be sure you are getting the right nutrition, exercise...and maybe you could use some temporary meds to stabilize you if you really feel you're about to go off the deep end.
Next time, when you're gonna go into a deep depression, do it for somebody who's worth this. This gal was a sleezebag to you and you didn't even see it.
That is the worst part. I saw it but could not do anything, i tried discussing it and she promised me it would get better. It never did. I dont need it for closure really, but I still do feel hurt that some stranger was able to get more out of her then I was. This is ticking me off ... I am sorry.
You need to let it go. This girl caused you pain for 2 months. She seems to not want you anymore. That sucks, yes....but you will and can get over her.
A thing similiar to that happened to me. I dated the guy for about 2mos. Then he didnt want me anymore, it HURT! But, you cant let people like that dick you around. She isnt for you, if she were, youd be together. You cant make her love you or want you.
I dont know why she did what she did...but, you need to chalk it up to she is a loser, cause rational people dont do stuff that like, and let her go!
I appreciate your advice. We have been split up for almost 2 months, but the fact she wants to still be FRIENDS but like never hang out bothers me also. She TXT's me most of the time asking how I am, but yeah, I know. I am just going to go and try and do something with her this week / next week and just play it cool. I am trying my best to move on from this experience and learn without seeming like a hung up jerk.
It hurts to say this but I think you might be right. She asked me to call her tonight and I will, but after that I will just let go and distance myself from this train wreck of a relationship. I do want a little more, I miss kissing her ... The grabbing her ass at work thing, which the other guy did, was my thing. So I got very jealous at that, I should not think about her in a that sense anymore, but I can't help it. She promised to go to prom with me and even bought a dress (after we had already split) but I am not sure how that would ever work out.
Just let her go. Out there waiting is someone who is more suited for you. Remember what Garth said, sometimes we thank god for unanswered prayers. The people I wanted 10yrs ago, when I was 18 Im glad Im not with now. Not to say you cant meet your soulmate then?! But, I just dont think she is yours and you need to understand that and move on.
She is probably going through a tuff time and needs an Emotional Tampon, to help her deal / cope with some things in her life. Don't get dragged back in.
You should listen to your own advice! lol
Found this in another thread, you must have just posted it.
LOL. Yeah I did, but I never follow my own advice, my head tells me one thing and my heart tells me something else. I already established the NO EMOTIONAL TAMPON thing. That's why did not find out about the other guy from her. She is good with not sharing info that would make me jealous, but our convos are somewhat limited to certain topics.
I know it's really rough. I know what it's like to go through a "mental collapse" I was there back in April, in addition to coining that phrase in another thread
It's a really crappy feeling, you can't concentrate, can't eat, enjoy the things you love doing. Hell, I thought about giving away tickets to one of my ALL time favorite bands that was in town this past summer. I'm glad I didn't do it, as I would have kicked myself in the arse the rest of my life as it was probably the last time they would ever come through.
You'll get through this patch, much like I did, and much like everyone else that posts messages on this board. Albeit, it took me Xanax/Paxil and a diagnosed case of borderline depression and anxiety attacks....You'll get through this dude.
Thanks. Well got off the phone with her, she told me what happened with the guy. She had her pants off but denied him and left, before she could leave he grabbed her ass and told her they needed to hang out more. This happened Tuesday he did not call back yet. I just laughed, took it lightly. I am letting go now, she just proved to me that she never gave a **** about me.
It did, but I needed to know for sure. But she got used basically, so I feel good! I know it sounds horrible but the guy did not get sex, he got denied and she is not hooking up with him, cause all she was to him is ASS. I invited her for Monday Morning to my place, I will get a myself a goodbye kiss and a grab of the ass, my signature move and BUH BYE to her.
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... The grabbing her ass at work thing, which the other guy did, was my thing. So I got very jealous at that, I should not think about her in a that sense anymore, but I can't help it. She promised to go to prom with me and even bought a dress (after we had already split) but I am not sure how that would ever work out.
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