[HurtinginVA]

Wow. My husbands parents found out what was going on yesterday ~ (His affair and him wanting a divorce) We live in VA, they live in NM. They are coming out here-it will take them about a week to drive here. They are not happy with my husband at all. Im kind of worried about what's going to happen. Kind of hopeful too, maybe they can talk some sense into my husband? Who knows?

Anyone else have crazy reactions from the in-laws? His mom was very upset and crying and telling me to not kick him out and to just hang tight until she gets there.........etc.....Just bored at work and thought I would ask if this has happened to anyone else?

[quankanne]

ugh, that's the one casualty you don't think about immediately, the families (in-laws, out-laws) who are affected by an impending divorce. On the one hand, it's kind of nice that they care that much about you and your husband to want to try to make things work out, but it also makes it hard when they refuse to see what's going on simply because they don't want to disturb the status quo ...

if you've had a fairly good relationship with his family, and you hope to keep in touch with them or remain on good terms even if you should divorce their son/brother/uncle/cousin, let them know. Just because he's a rat-fink doesn't mean they should pay the price for his messing around. However, set up some ground rules, like neither side is going to criticize Jackass Boy when y'all are together, and that certain topics are off-limits. If you already have a relationship with them based on respect, this shouldn't prove too difficult, but again, it's going to be hard dealing with his parents if they refuse to see any other viewpoint than their own. If this is the first divorce to affect the family, it'll be doubly hard for them to cope.

my two sisters went through divorces about the same time, and my folks took it hard because they practically raised my brothers-in-law as teenagers, they were around that much. But other than asking my sisters if this what they really wanted and crying a lot because of how it affected the kids, they pretty much stayed out of it. But I did notice a new book in their collection, about dealing with divorce. That might be a possibility, going to your library or bookstore and looking for material on how to deal with the family aspect of it -- it could give you some ideas on how to handle this without losing your dignity or temper.

I'm really sorry to hear that your marriage isn't working, and hope that you two can resolve things in a peaceful manner as much as possible.

quank