[Tony T]

Everywhere I look around me, people are breaking up, having problems, getting divorced, etc. What is it about the Christmas holiday season that has such a profound affect on relationships? Why do the holidays draw out the worst in some relationships? Is it the bad ones that come apart at this time of year? I'd just like to better understand what's happening?

[yogi-mon]

too much pressure to have a good time.

Holidays put a lot of stress on a relationship. Relatively small stuff, such as where to eat Christmas dinner, for instance, becomes a big issue when ex-spouses, in-laws, children or distant families are involved. There is also the attempt to live up picture book images of holidays. Then there are those who want the holidays to become the impetus for other milestones, like becoming engaged. And don't forget that many people brings their own holiday baggage to the table, trying to either make up for or shed bad holiday memories of childhood.

I don't think that the holidays make a relationship bad or good, but that the extra stress and need to discuss certain practicalities can show fault lines that would otherwise be hidden for a few more weeks or months.

[yes]

i think end of the year, around xmas time, many people begin to evaluate the ending year. this includes evaluating their relationships - hence so much ado.

another reason may be that people have to buy xmas presents, and what gift you give shows how seriously you take the person (maybe?), so people begin to ponder that.

also, there's the question of who to spend the holidays with - again, makes you take a longer look at your relationship(s).

my 2c,
-yes

[Errol]

It's the pressure of friends and family pulling everyone in different directions. A new couple might want to spend time together but the traditions of their own families don't always allow room, or enough room, for change and including others, or allowing one to leave the tradition. With long-established relationships they also develop traditions and pull others in. Too much to do and not enough time. Its very demanding. Because December/January marks the end of a year and the start of enough there is a lot of reflection which can lead to depression and a lot of fear or anxiety about going forward that can also lead to fear or anxiety.

Or maybe we are all mad at ourselves for spending more money than we should have and for falling into traps of buying gifts for people out of obligation.

Maybe its the moon.

[moimeme]

Interesting. I have known a lot of couples that broke up on or near special occasions, too, and I figured it was for the reasons noted above; that such occasions are times for reflection on one's life. I also have always thought it was an awful mean thing to do since it wouldn't only spoil that holiday, but memories for many subsequent ones.

Go to: http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/...tionships.html

I guess the people we know who break up over the holidays are particularly conflicted or inconsiderate or something!

[Arabess]

Maybe everyone is trying to get things in order for tax season......LOL!

[mjk]

Hey I'll throw my version in too! I've had a couple relationships end in the October to December time frame. I feel its bcause you have to face the reality of being with that person and the holidays just bring out that reality.

If you are unhappy in a relationship, seeing the "Happiness" of the holiday season can be a catalsyt to break it off. Lots of emotions flow during this time period.

Maybe because some of us "procrastinate" we wait until the last minute to end our relationships? LOL!

See Ya!

[Thinkalot]

In the holidays, things get highlighted. If your relatioship is great, it seems even better at this festive time. If it's bad, it seems even worse, because you are supposed to be happy and cheerful and there is more pressure.

I am feeling happy because my guy and I are together and working things out and in love, and Christmas makes it seem even more special. I would be so sad if we were apart, or if we were fighting, because I EXPECT Christmas to be a happy time. Even though we have issues, our love is dominant, and I am so grateful for that at Christmas time especially.