Spending too much time together?

Medgirl · 19th December 2003, 2:00 AM

Hi, I've been involved with my boyfriend for about 3 months now. I've already fallen inlove with him and I think he's a great guy. I also love spending time with him. However, I still live with my parents and my mom thinks I'm obsessed with him because I like to spend time with him so much. I go over to his house about every other night because she won't let me go out two nights in a row. When I go over I spend about 6 hours or so. Personally, I think it's a little silly that she's so worried. I mean, I'm almost 20 years old and I'm doing pretty good in school. She thinks that I'm basically giving up everything for him. PS this isn't the first boyfriend I've had. I had a boyfriend for almost 3 years prior to this relationship. I spent a lot of time with him too, and probably more time than I do with my new one. Anyway, how much time together is too much time together?

chanya_chip · 19th December 2003, 9:53 AM

until you said your age i had assumed you were under 18. you're 20 and still letting your mother rule over how much you date? you are an adult and able to make your own choices...as for spending 'too much time' if you enjoy the time you spend together, who's your mother (or anyone else) to tell you it's not good for you? Your academic life, your love life, your LIFE is your own and so are the decisions you make as an adult.

UCFKevin · 19th December 2003, 12:39 PM

Too much time together is when you get annoyed quickly or get sick of each other, burnt out as I put it. If that doesn't happen, keep it going, and don't worry about it.

You're in the honeymoon phase. Enjoy it.

jenny · 19th December 2003, 12:47 PM

err...strategically, i think you're playing it wrong. if you have to be restrained from seeing him, you don't have enough to do. sorry if that sounds brutal. if you have a bit of self-control, it's likely you have a longer relationship.

when do you have time for your friends? your interest classes? i know you are doing well in your classes (which i'm assuming means a B+ average or better) but how are you doing as a well-rounded person? are you taking classes outside of school you are interested in? do you go to films, museums, sports events that YOU want to go to with other people?

i'm concerned because so often i see women give their all to the relationship, and when it's gone, all they can do is move on to the next guy, they have no 'self' to fall back on.

building a self takes time. like yourself and defend your time with yourself as much as you like and defend him.

CostumeSmile · 19th December 2003, 1:04 PM

Quote:

I go over to his house about every other night because she won't let me go out two nights in a row. When I go over I spend about 6 hours or so.

It's a fairly new relathionship, like UCFKevin said your in the Honeymoon stage, this is so absalutely normal....Your old enough, do you girl....... There is nothing wrong with this situatin (how you explain it). Have fun.

Medgirl · 19th December 2003, 1:34 PM

Hey guys thanks for the replys. Chanya I understand what you mean. However, unfortunatly I still live under her roof and I try to respect her wishes. Until I move out, which is fairly soon, I have to abide by her rules. But you're right, it is my life and I need to take that into consideration more. Jenny, I totally understand where you're coming from. I think part of her problem is that I am at a standstill in my life. It's a long story why, but since the beginning of the year I've had a lack of motivation for things. She contributes my boyfriend to that. I had a serious life change this summer and I contribute that to my lack of motivation, but it's not him. I thought about it a lot last night and realized that it's just going to take time and she's just going to need to adjust to my fairly new boyfriend. She's also going to have to accept the fact that my lovelife is none of her business, which has been difficult for her to understand. Anyway, thanks again for the replies.

UCFKevin · 19th December 2003, 1:35 PM

Just don't let things get TOO common or comfortable or they might become boring, just doing the same old thing, hanging out or going to his place every other night. That's precisely what happened in my last relationship, I won't let it happen again.