[lando]

Hey guys... its been quite some time since I've been around here.

Let me give you the background info.

Her & I became acquaintances online by posting at a mutual messageboard. One day, we just started chatting over AIM, and we started chatting more & more often.

We have both sent pictures to eachother and are both about eachother in that area, but we are even moreso with eachothers' personalities. We've both said it.

Nowadays, its become usual for her & I to talk over the phone on almost a nightly basis.

I havent openly told her that I like her, and she hasnt told me either. However, we have both confided in another mutual friend of ours (coincidentally), and to which he tells me that she likes me for certain.

Here is the part... Just shortly before I started getting involved with her, she actually got out of a long distance relationship. They had been seeing eachother for quite some time, and he really hurt her by cheating on her, so she broke up with him... Having said that, you might be able to see how that kind of puts me in a fickle spot. She now likes me, but also wants to be single and get past the damage that her ex did to her. Also, I can understand how it could be hard for her to trust another LDR guy after being through that... She hasnt really put it all forward in words, but i'm not blind enough to miss it.

What guidance can you all provide?... Her & I are both excited about the fact that I am going to be seeing her in a couple months, and I have no doubt that once I do see her, things will most likely finally click into place, but what does a guy do until that time?

Thanks in advance.

[vixen]

You wouldn't happen to go to MIT?? LOL

Sounds so dang familiar. Anywho, speaking from that girls point of view, I'd just keep talking to her, start putting forth you feelings, put out those feelers, see how she responds. LDR's suck, they arn't good for anyone if ya ask me. Hell i just got out of one with a guy in the same city as me. LOL how does that work? Don't ask.

Really just keep being your sweet self. Look forward to the day you two meet, but don't get your hopes up. You can't be disappointed if you don't get your hopes up. Just relax, go with the flow, and don't worry about anything till there's something to worry about.

Like Filmore says, "get the 411 before you dial 911"

Vixen

[lando]

Haha, sorry vixen, i'm not the MIT guy.

What do you mean by 'putting out those feelers'? I'm pretty sure that after reading what your answer is, that I can tell you that I have been doing at least some of the things you are going to mention, and the response has been good.

Would telling her my feelings so soon be detrimental? Should I wait until everything is a little more established? Everything has progressed somewhat quickly with her thus far. I'm not really complaining about it, because she is a great girl, but I do realize the facts, nonetheless...

I think it would be wise for me to try and slow things down a bit with her. You know, so that I can build her trust in me, and also establish the fact that I am the kind of guy that is faithful and is willing to make the sacrifices of a LDR for her... I already know that she is the same as me in that respect. I would think that the best time to make everything official would be when I actually do go see her.

Having been in a LDR for over two years in the past, I realize their disadvantages. Nevertheless, I realize the fact that i've met a girl that I totally click with, and even though she lives a distance from me, I am willing to live with that, just so she can call me 'hers', and I can call her 'mine'. I guess the thing that i'm worried about is that she wont be willing to give a LDR with me a try, due to past (hurtful) experiences.

Thanks for listening. Any opinions?

[moimeme]

Would telling her my feelings so soon be detrimental?

If you're not using 'like' as a euphemism for 'love', sure tell her you like her. Nothing over-the-top or threatening about that.

You've been in an LDR so you know the drill - no talk of love until you know the 3D person. No talk of marriage or lifetimes together until then, either. Your plan to take it slow and build trust is a good one. Follow through and you'll be ok.