[chinkyling]

my "friend" and i are together but only close friends know about it. we cant be openly official because his parents would not approve of me. i am a baptised catholic and he is a practicing jehovahs witness. they believe they should only date within the religion. he says he cares too much for me to worry about what his parents think (we have been really good friends for 4 years and after hs graduation we decided to take the next step) so this isnt a "fling" type of relationship. ive known his religion was a very important part of his life and ive never kept him from it, ive even visited his hall a few times, his parents want him to take me to this big event to see if i want to switch religions, but i really dont. they will only allow it if i do. is it really right for them to keep their son from someone he likes because of this belief? they keep making threats to him if he keeps seeing me but also keep telling him hes 19 and can live his own life. what should he do and how am i suppose to help??

[dyermaker]

is it really right for them to keep their son from someone he likes because of this belief?

The boy's 19. He can do whatever he wants, and you don't need his parent's permission to see him. Tell the parents that you respect their beliefs, but don't plan on changing yours.

[toots307]

The parents don't have the right to dictate which religion you choose to follow but the different religious beliefs could be a serious problem for the two of you down the road. What if you get married? Will you argue about whose church you get married in? What if you have kids? Will you raise them to believe in one religion or the other? Perhaps you should look into converting - think about the parts of your religion that are important to you - perhaps his religion will have those aspects. I'm concerned that this will be a problem for the rest of your life - just something to think about.

[moimeme]

As I understand it, Jehovah's Witnesses can be VERY strict; even to the point of completely disowning their family members if the family members don't marry into the religion. You really need to find out how deeply into this religion they are; it will make a huge difference to your relationship.

[Errol]

Originally posted by chinkyling
my "friend" and i are together but only close friends know about it. we cant be openly official because his parents would not approve of me. i am a baptised catholic and he is a practicing jehovahs witness. they believe they should only date within the religion. he says he cares too much for me to worry about what his parents think (we have been really good friends for 4 years and after hs graduation we decided to take the next step) so this isnt a "fling" type of relationship. ive known his religion was a very important part of his life and ive never kept him from it, ive even visited his hall a few times, his parents want him to take me to this big event to see if i want to switch religions, but i really dont. they will only allow it if i do. is it really right for them to keep their son from someone he likes because of this belief? they keep making threats to him if he keeps seeing me but also keep telling him hes 19 and can live his own life. what should he do and how am i suppose to help??

No one can force a belief on someone else, but they can make life hell for you. JWs are very strict. You said your bfs religion is important to him -- but how important is it really if he is willing to date outside of it? He's 19 and we all experiment and explore at that age - but if his religion really is important then he is going to get to a point where he has to make a choice. He will need to weigh his own belief and his family's reactions. At 19 I doubt if he is ready to make that choice or to fully understand what it could do to him if he loses his family for you. He may end up resenting you for it.