Why do you dwell on finding the perfect man or perfect relationship? There is no such thing! Its almost impossible to keep the passion inside a person alive. Every relationship starts out with a bang or boom. Then it dies down. The newness is gone. So what do you do? Head for the next exit. Stop watching soap opras or oprah.
Its like you are waiting you whole life to be swept off your feet in a different demension. A white stallion horse with wings and your princess. Its all fairy tale.
A realtionship should be built on love, communication and understanding. That is the only Phenomena or Demension you will experience. Not something that is not humanly possible.
Many of times what woman resist in a man is only a mirrior reflection of what exist in you, but unwilling to face it.
I think that some women are living a lie. They love us, but the realtionship is not going to work because it not conflict free.
If you think one minute that anybody has the answer to a perfect relationship then you are kiding yourselves.
Note: I am not saying ALL women are this way, but sometimes it feels like it.
i know where you are coming from maxmuscle although it is good that you added how not all women are that way
infact i know men who are exactly the same, want a supermodel, an IQ of 190 and £1000000 in the bank blah blah etc. etc.
i was told recently by my ex that suddenly she didn't think she could love me and there was no spark and she wants 100% and not 90%
there maybe a lot more to this and you can read my post in Breaking Up, Reconcilation
according to both of us, my friends and her friends we were an ideal couple and superbly matched
similiar intelligence, good family, same religious beliefs, similar music...
the list goes on
I think nowadays there is an added pressure on people to pursue this idea when in reality a woman is lucky if she gets a good man who will love her without measure and the same thing with a man!
it is seemingly rare these days to get people to stay together in love
i was told that there are too many relationships out there without love or just love on one side and that she didn't want to be like that
I think that one thing that happens -- especially with younger people who haven't experienced much, understandably -- is that there is always this nagging feeling that maybe there's something/someone better out there and they're afraid to "settle" just yet for fear they will miss out on that better person down the line.
And in our society today there are so many temptations and people without scruples who are willing to try to seduce someone whether they are already with someone or not. Human nature takes over and some people can't resist the urge for that "new" feeling, that lust that may have worn off in the former relationship. It's a shame.
I was with my ex for 3 years, but she ended it for her reasons. Since the breakup she has emailed me telling me that I'm special, love me and misses us being a family. She just email me today saying she wants to go visit my sister in NY.
Why would she end the realionship in the fiirst place? She is still keeping in contact with me and my family. But she has her reasons for ending the relationship. I think because her life is not in order. This is horse manure!
Last edited by maxmuscle; 16th December 2003 at 2:49 PM..
When do the cycle stop? When one day they wake up 40 years old to find themselves alone? When does it end?
Nowadays, people are damn lucky to get unconditional love and communication. forget wanting somone rich and financially stable. How shallow have this society has become?
That's what pisses me off. My borhter ex told him that she lost the special feeling?
I think another reason my ex broke it off because she too has lost that special feeling. Do woman every think maybe the relationship has settled and the newness has worn off.
When do the cycle stop? When one day they wake up 40 years old to find themselves alone? When does it end?
Nowadays, people are damn lucky to get unconditional love and communication. forget wanting somone rich and financially stable. How shallow have this society has become?
Well, there's no way to predict that. Obviously, it depends on the person. Everybody is different. Trust me, not everybody (notice I'm referring to people in general, not just women) is that shallow and fickle. There are people who fall in love and are content and committed for life. You will find someone like that. Have faith.
Originally posted by cindy0039
Trust me, not everybody (notice I'm referring to people in general, not just women) is that shallow and fickle.
........Shallow and Fickle are my friends....they don't make demands......hahahaha!......
Max,
Most women aren't looking for a perfect man or perfect relationship. They are just looking for a combination of the two they can live with and be happy with. Just because one man doesn't represent those things to one woman....doesn't mean he won't represent those things to another woman. It comes down to being a personal choice.
Once you add love in the equation......those perfect expectations take on a whole new dynamic....and aren't so important anymore.
Last edited by Arabess; 16th December 2003 at 6:22 PM..
Reason: wanted to have fun with Cindy..
I guess I will never figure a woman out. My ex breaks up with me. Since the break up, she has emailed me saying I miss you, I love you, and I am special. Then she email me today saying that she wants to go vsist MY sister in NY. Also she said she was going to call me tonite to let me speak with her daughter because I accepted her as my own.
What is up with all this? She is the one that wanted the breakup, but she is saying these things to me and wants to go visit my sister?
I am finding it a little difficult to have contact with my ex and not "have" her, like you said. Its really hard, but at least we are friends right now. for a while after the break-up I think she saw me as her enemy! not a nice thought! No, I'll change that, we are very good friends, she said that herself. I hope that in being friends we can one day (soon?) progress back into a relationship. My point is that sure the contact is hard / bittersweet as you say, but it's got to be a step in the right direction towards reconciliation of your relationship right?
mr_roggger it must be one of the hardest things to do on the planet, i sort of hope i'm ready to embark on this myself and although my heart would love to have her back my brain says no hence the name!
i don't think my ex will see me as the enemy but i really hope to have a good friendship with her as i did during our relationship
can or has anyone ever done what mr_roggger hopes for?
It is just as hard as the no contact thing. Now I have contact with her again, I find myself thinking about her more and almost worrying about what she is doing when I don't hear from her. I also find myself reading into things too much. However, there is no doubt that it is a nice feeling being in contact with her again, although it is hard as the contact is so minimal. However, too much contact may very well push her away again, as would spending too much time together. Remember when you first started dating your ex, how you didn't meet up that often and just hang out. tim was precious then, and that is what it is now. Hard though, I must admit. I'm gonna put an update on my last thread now as I am in need of some advice!
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