[ojibwaywmn]

I broke up with my ex at the end of June after learning that he wasn't being honest with me. Before we became involved, he was in a common-law relationship with 2 small children. Close to the end of our relationship, I noticed him becoming more distant then announced he needed some space. Having him leave was so painful, I didn't know if I could survive. But I wasn't ready to nag or chase after him and respected his wishes.

A month later, I found out that while he was "sorting things out", he was trying to get back with his ex and their 2 children. That just added more anger and pain to my wounds, so I broke up via email as it was the only way I could contact him at the time. What bothers me the most is that he didn't have the respect to tell me what he really wanted. Rather, I had to find out through the grapevine.

Wanting to learn and release alot of pent up emotions, I sought a spiritual healer/counsellor. She helped me understand why I attract incompatible men, and how to forgive, love, respect myself more. If it wasn't for those sessions, I would be in worse condition.

When fall came along, I was starting to feel better about myself and my life. Although he was in my thoughts and heart, it was more manageable. What they say is right. Just when you are starting to move on, your ex shows up.

In early November, my ex called me in the middle of the night. We talked at great length. I told him how much he hurt me and that he should have told me that he wanted to go back to his family. He apologized and said that the next time he comes into the city for business, he would like to talk face to face. He went on saying that he missed our relationship and that he wants me back. We decided to work on being friends.

Earlier this week, we were chatting via messenger and the conversation became serious. He stated that his ideal situation would to have me and his kids. But said that the ex would make it difficult for him and his kids if we were together. She wouldn't allow him to have the kids if he was with someone else.

Needless to say, he will be in town this coming Monday and Tuesday. I am feeling a lot of different emotions right now. I hear conflicting stories about what is really going on with him and his ex. He tells me one thing, then my sisters hear differently through the grapevine. I don't know what to believe at times.

If he is sincere in saying that he would do anything to be with his kids, then why did he call me in the first place? I am scared right now. I don't want to be hurt again, and I know that I need to stand up for myself. There are so many things I need to know before we can attempt a reconciliation. A part of me feels that I should let him go, he doesn't know what he wants. The other part feels that I should listen to what he has to say, give him the benefit of the doubt. I am a caring, loving, forgiving person and always feel that people deserve a second chance. I guess I am more afraid of re-experiencing that same hurt, anger, and disappointment. I haven't really stood up for myself this way before and it is scary. Any advice or comments would help. Thanks.