[gluestick]

First I want to make sure you know I love you.
That being said, know that I do not want to lose you.
I do feel that you are not happy and I do not know how to make you happy.
You keep telling me that marriage will make things better but if we have problems now before marriage how will it solve anything?
I do want to marry you and plan on it.. I just want us past all the BS and that takes time. Its also a lame time when we have other people in the family getting engaged soon.
I just feel all too often that I don’t make you in the least bit happy. I see you go on daily being miserable and that kills me.
Don’t you see that when you have something on your mind or your mood changes it affects me and my attitude? When you are miserable I am miserable.
I don’t know what to tell you other than I love you.

About the adult stuff..
Yes I look at it on occasion.. More often when I feel you drifting away from me.. but part of what was kewl about you when I met ya was the fact that it didn’t bother you.
Perhaps I do have an addiction because you have completely done a 180 from how you used to be about it. Fine. I can live with that. I love you.
I don’t know what to do about this as I feel torn either way.. If I look at it, I am guilty somehow of betraying you.. If I don’t look at it, I am being told what to do.
I don’t know why it hurts you so much.. That I don’t understand. I think we both do love each other or we would not of lasted quite this long ya know?


About us…
I want us to be together. Cant you see that’s been in my plan all along?
I wouldn’t want to bring your kids here if I didn’t plan on being with you!

I do know that every time you ask about the marriage thing, it makes me feel weird. Why? I don’t know.. Perhaps its because I haven’t been able to tell you that I do want to marry you, but I need to see us doing better together.
.
I do want us to be together. I do want us to be husband and wife. But I do want us to be happy together and I want you to be happy being with me.

I am sorry I have made your last 1.5 years miserable. I don’t know how to repair damage done. I wish you felt the love I feel for you. I wish you knew that I am crazy about you and tell everyone how lucky I am to have you and that I do hope we will get married.

I don’t know how to fix us other than by communication. I don’t want you to leave and I do want you to want to be with me. Please help me fix us cause I don’t want to lose you.