[steveb]

I know zero men who have cheated on their wives.
I know 8 women who have cheated on their husbands.
I could never imagine cheating, If I want out, I'll get a divorce.

Comments??

[Tony T]

1. "I know zero men who have cheated on their wives. I know 8 women who have cheated on their husbands."

So what is this supposed to mean? Your personal observations, while worthy of being honored, are by no means scientific sampling.

2. "I could never imagine cheating, If I want out, I'll get a divorce."

Great attitude. Let's see what you do if you're ever in that position. Most often, people who cheat don't want out of their marriages...they just want to cheat....they want strange...they want the excitement of something new while holding on to the stability of the more aged relationship.

I guess you might say that most people would not want for a spouse a person who would cheat with them.

[the bulb]

Originally posted by steveb
I know zero men who have cheated on their wives.
I know 8 women who have cheated on their husbands.
I could never imagine cheating, If I want out, I'll get a divorce.

Comments??

i have cheated on my wife, i am moving out in next few days,telling my wife on friday,if youve read my posts you will know why.

part of me says if i could turn back time, i would not get involved in the affair,work harder on my marriage, give the marriage everything ive got.

them part of me says...ive given everything ive got,maybe through the years my wife and i have just grown apart,ive fallen out of love with her. did i stay for the conveinince, for both of us?is it even more cowardice to stay in the relationship/marriage because"its not so bad" or,its the right thing to do,or,itll save me a lot of money (my personal worst which i dont feel).

am i making the mistake of my life by giving up the comfortable,coddling world of my marriage,though devoid of a mental connection, to enter the new,passionate, unknown great beyond that will now be my future?

i am hear as a true example as to what is better or worse.....stay with a marriage that has run its course,where there are no bad guys, no smoking guns, just the sad fact of growing appart mentally,philosophically.

or opt for the separation/divorce to stop the cycle of "cheating"(in my case,2 weeks)move into the city on my own,maintain the new relationship...wherever that may lead. possibly to a dead end,possibly to the same situation from which i am leaving.....or to something infinetley better.

regardless.....i will be doing it....and will keep you informed...as to what it is to go through this....just one mans story...thrown in with everyone else who have been through this before me...im taking the risk

[moimeme]

This is pretty thorough!


http://www.psychologytoday.com/htdoc...701-000026.ASP

[moimeme]

As a matter of fact, my research indicates that extramarital affairs based solely on desire for new sexual partners is a very small percentage of the total number of affairs. Specifically, of the over 4,300 respondents that have completed my questionnaire, over 90% have reported that the affair is based on emotional needs not being met within the marital relationship, and not sexually motivated reasons. Therefore, it appears that the allure of extramarital affairs is not new sexual experiences, nor are they due to any biological inability to remain monogamous, but rather what drives many individuals to become involved in extramarital affairs is a lack of emotional fulfillment within the existing relationship.

The indication is that the desire for a new sexual experience is not the initial motive for looking outside the marriage, but rather comes after the breakdown of the emotional relationship. Only then, after there has been an eroding of the interpersonal relationship, including a loss of passion, lack of intimacy, and loss of emotional and sexual satisfaction, does the dissatisfied partner look for a new lover to fulfill their needs.

http://members.aol.com/affairlady/ARTICLE.HTM Dr. Debbie Layton-Tholl completed her dissertation on the topic of extramarital affairs. 800 responses were analyzed and included in the dissertation that was completed in October 1998. To order a copy of the dissertation write Dr. Layton-Tholl. (Note email addy is listed on the site cited above.)


A few more resources:


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv...nfid033099.htm

http://www.aamft.org/families/consum...infidelity.asp

http://listarchives.his.com/smartmar.../msg00002.html