[dumpedbyjealousy]

Someone help me understand....

I had a friend for almost 11 years. We lost touch for a few years and started talking again. I had a good job and made about 14 dollars an hour and she was being laid off from hers so I got her a job at the company I work at. We were close and dear friends up until this February. I have always suspected she has jealousy issues because she is constantly bitching about how her sister and brother - in -law are working the L&I system and getting paid to do nothing... I heard about it everyday on the way to work there was always a new update and it always had to do with money. Well, here is where it started for us.... I got into a real bad car accident in October and messed up my back and neck - proven by MRI's and CAT scans. The accident was a hit and run so I thought I was going to be nailed for it because there was no one else to take care of it. It turns out it was covered by my uninsured motorist protection - So I got a lawyer to help me out as I have like 15000 dollars in Medical bills. He said we could sue my uninsured motorist protection upto the max limit which is 50K. I went for it because I don't have the money to pay for everything I have to do related to this car accident. I got excited and told my friend thinking she would be happy for me. Right? no WRONG!!! she bitched me out calling me greedy and telling me that she was brought up not to sue people and ramble ramble ramble... She told me I was faking my injuries even though they are medically documented. Anyhow, this went on for about a week I finally just told her that I am not going to discuss it with her anymore.

Okay, so In December of 02 I get laid off and she gets to stay. Which was alright with me because I was sick of the stress and the commute to Seattle. Anyhow in February A Manager from where I worked called me and told me she would like to interview me for a position that I have wanted for a long time. So I got excited and called my friend to tell her we might be working together again. She laughs and says good now that you will be paid for parking expenses you can drive and pay for it kind of joking about it.....

Well I go in for my interview thinking I was up against one person when while I was being interviewed I was told there were 2 more people one outside the company and one inside ----I was not sure who it was and I did not even suspect until I met up with my friend for lunch... she did not even ask me anything about it and brought another gal to lunch with us which is fine... I think it was to avoid confrontation... not sure though. Anyhow, after I voluntarily spilled everything about the interview I put 2 and 2 together.... I asked her if she went for the job too. She said yes..... I felt like she put a knife in my back.... The following weekend was our mutual friends Birthday so I went with another friend. I did not know how to deal with the whole thing but I thought I should be there for the Birthday girl.... needless to say I got really drunk and spilled my guts on how I thought she betrayed me and stabbed me in the back (this was in the bathroom of the bar) She gets angry and puts her hand around my throat and threatens to kick my ass. ...whatever go for it if it makes you feel better..... anyway I left the bar. The next day I called her to talk to her about it and I thought everything was fine..... she thinks she was in the right... I am not sure what to think..... anyway we started loosing touch until the fourth of July when my Bestfriend invited me and my husband to the races (she had also invited the Jealous??? friend) turns out she did not want to go because I would be there..... I did not want it ruined for her husband so I called her to see what it was about... seems she still had harsh feelings.... I got her to go we did not talk much.

Here is where it gets interesting......... I got a good job working in an investigation office making 35,000 a year with no commute..... she hears about it and calls me to get the details. I thought were okay....a few weeks later I start trying to get a hold of her to see how she is doing etc and she would not return my phonecalls....... 2 weeks after me making an ass of myself by leaving sob story messages about how I miss her etc she emails me and tells me she needs a break and that we are 2 different people going in 2 different directions.... what the hell does that have to do with being friends..... nobody can share the same common goals and if so its rare..... SO WHOEVER READS THIS WHAT DO YOU THINK .... WHO IS WRONG HERE GIVE ME AN OPINION.....BECAUSE I AM NOT SURE.

[Sunrain]

From what I read about your friend I really wonder what is the benefit of your relationship with her? She is not the kind of friend I would want. Sounds like you are better off without her. I know it's hard when you have been friends to get away from a friend but I had to do it, too, at times for the same reason. To me she sounds like a person who is not very nice.

Hi there -

I don't know the whole of the story in the relationship between you and your friend from your post, but based on what you said, I have to wonder what this person brings to your friendship that is worth saving? You seem like you're a thoughtful friend; you thought of her when you got her in the door at your old company, but her behavior toward you seems more jealous and petty than friendly.

Sometimes the truth is difficult, especially when you don't want to hear it. If you step away and look at your situation as someone uninvolved might see it, you might feel that you're wasting your time and energy on a lost cause. There are too many nice people in this world for you to waste months and years on someone who's not worth your time. To be blunt: move on.

Obviously, you can still be yourself and be nice and civil when you encounter her. Just cut your losses and don't waste any more of your time on her negative behavior.