[uongy]

hi.i have problems with connecting with my friends.

i used to be quite secluded and homestruck due to strict parents and my shyness.i decided this time last year that i needed to make friends and go out.since,ive been introduced to many people,mostly girls.

anyway,ive made some cracking friends and they are all great.the problem is that as ive only made friends with them recently(some a year ago others a few months ago) and as a result dont seem to be able to make conversation with them. it doesnt seem to help that im a naturally shy person and not able to talk that easily.

im gd at talkin to them online and theres no problem with tht.they dont seem to ignore me during get-togethers but i dnt seem to talk them at get-togethers.i dnt think they have a problem with tht as they like me and appreciate im shy but id realy like some advice at talkin with your friends and to get rid of the nerves.

ive been told by one of them tht i dnt seem to get a word in as they are extremely talkative and chatty.this is the case alot as most are girls.
ive met up with them alot and i still not able to talk them.as a guy,is this a general problem?

basically,i need advice on how to talk to me girl friends and how to develop a closer relationship to them all(as i feel quite located and left out of conversation)

[SoleMate]

Here's something that has worked for me, to reduce shyness and increase closeness to friends:

I work hard at getting my thoughts OFF of myself and on to the other person. I ask them questions with genuine interest, and listen attentively to the answer without tossing in my own story. I find that I am not self conscious when I am thinking about other people.

Most people will eventually say, "What about you?" and then I get to talk about myself for a short while.

[Minus]

I agree with SoleMate. I always ask questions when I meet new people, because sometimes I dont know what to talk about. If you keep asking questions, you will always find something that you have in common with someone else. Always works for me.

[koko]

Originally Posted by uongy

hi.i have problems with connecting with my friends.

i used to be quite secluded and homestruck due to strict parents and my shyness.i decided this time last year that i needed to make friends and go out.since,ive been introduced to many people,mostly girls.

anyway,ive made some cracking friends and they are all great.the problem is that as ive only made friends with them recently(some a year ago others a few months ago) and as a result dont seem to be able to make conversation with them. it doesnt seem to help that im a naturally shy person and not able to talk that easily.

im gd at talkin to them online and theres no problem with tht.they dont seem to ignore me during get-togethers but i dnt seem to talk them at get-togethers.i dnt think they have a problem with tht as they like me and appreciate im shy but id realy like some advice at talkin with your friends and to get rid of the nerves.

ive been told by one of them tht i dnt seem to get a word in as they are extremely talkative and chatty.this is the case alot as most are girls.
ive met up with them alot and i still not able to talk them.as a guy,is this a general problem?

basically,i need advice on how to talk to me girl friends and how to develop a closer relationship to them all(as i feel quite located and left out of conversation)

Dude, I know why you're shy, because you're nervous. You're constantly afriad of mess things up and look like a fool infront of everyone. Where infact, only the ppl that do act like fools are the popular ones.

Here is what you do, just think of a random topic.. something funny, and randomly call on a friend and tell him a random story. He'll think something's wrong with you, but it'll break the ice, and you guys can start a conversation.