I need an opinion from an open-minded person, and I believe that if anyone can give me an unbiased answer, you all can.

I'm a 17-year-old male who lives in the very rural south. I'm also bisexual. It would be a big loss of family and friends if they found out, but I hate living in secrecy. Lately, I've been taking more steps in my bisexuality. I've written a letter to a woman I find attractive. I've also written to a bi-male pen-pal service.

Do you recommend coming out or not? If you do, how would you go about it?

First, I have no counseling background. And second, I'm straight, so my opinion comes from neither professional nor personal experience. Instead, it comes straight from my own nature and reasoning -- which seems to be just what you want.

Even if you could successfully keep your bisexuality a secret forever, I definitely think you should come out. For all of us, loving and accepting who we are is the first step on the road to happiness. Living among those who love and accept us is the second step. If anyone turns against you, it will only be a loss in number. The quality of your family and friends is far more important than quantity of them! No matter how many people remain -- and I predict that their number will be larger than you think -- they will become even dearer to you as a result.

If you decide to come out, I'd suggest going first to the family member who you believe loves you most -- usually Mom. Tell her the news.

[Faerie Princess]

a lot of support to be found in the world. Some of your friends and family must be open minded enough to love you for you, and all of you.

If you're enjoying both women and men in theory, but not in practice, you're not entirely one thing or another. Don't worry about the labels so much. Seek friends that you can enjoy, and will appreciate you for yourself.

Living in the rural south does throw a wrench in the works. My other advice is go away to a college or job in a larger city, where you'll be able to meet other people of the same orientations. Feeling like "the only one" can make you stressed.