[monkey00]

This didnt occur to me until today that my female friends may have low self-esteem, or dont like to be judged by a crowd of people.

One time i decided to go karaoking and called up a friend told her i was going w/some friends she said no thx, i suck at singing , etc. its possible she wasnt good at singing, or just didnt like to meet new ppl. then when i go to pool w/ friends and call her out, she isn't interested at all to go pool. but she completely doesnt mind pooling w/her friends + me or just me and her.

Whenever i ask my other friend if she wants to come along w/me and friends to pool or bowling she always says no thx i suck at pool/bowling. and i tell her im going skating w/some friends, and she told me she only knows how to walk in skates, but not skate. and i noticed that whatever she's not good in, like computer, other activities...she doesnt like to talk about it or doesnt find a way to get better at it. she asked me if i wanted to go karaoking (she's great at singing) or drinking w/her friends later i said sure, i ddint mind at all meeting them or just going out to have fun.
i told her its ok and that i dont know how to skate either, but i will go bowl/skate w/friends just for the fun of it. Plus bowling/skating/pooling is not really a team effort like bball that ppl are gonna blame u if you screw up. so what if you're not that good in it or what?? when i started to pool i couldnt even shoot the ball at all but that didnt keep me from learning and having fun. And i have a guy friend i ask him to go bowling but he says 'no' everytime i ask him why he doesnt explain.

Cause of these certain friends, i usually have to limit my choices to either eating out, movies, or just drinking....if i ever hang out with them ( depends which friend).
Any of you have experience with these type of friends and as to why they don't want to join you for a night of fun??
low self-esteem??
dont want to be embarrased in front of ppl you dont know?
or afraid your friends might judge them and make her feel left out?

[lost_in_chgo]

Maybe they just dont like doing those things? So do something else.

[yes]

i admit i may be uncomfortable doing an acitivity i'm terribly bad at with a bunch of strangers, unless it's OK to ask them to teach me. i'm easier about it now - i just do it, laugh at myself, and bug everybody for tips. but i used to be afraid of doing ANYTHING badly in front of people. silly.

so my advice is to say "don't worry, i'll teach you! i promise i'll pick you up if you fall, and i can ever bring bandaid :P" (for skating, for e.g.). and make sure you do it! reassurance goes a long way.

-yes

[monkey00]

Originally posted by yes
i admit i may be uncomfortable doing an acitivity i'm terribly bad at with a bunch of strangers, unless it's OK to ask them to teach me. i'm easier about it now - i just do it, laugh at myself, and bug everybody for tips. but i used to be afraid of doing ANYTHING badly in front of people. silly.

so my advice is to say "don't worry, i'll teach you! i promise i'll pick you up if you fall, and i can ever bring bandaid :P" (for skating, for e.g.). and make sure you do it! reassurance goes a long way.

-yes

yea now that you mention it...if it was me who had to do an activity in front of people i didnt know in which i sucked in...i think i might feel uncomfortable also...dunno

but thanks on your insight Yes

[Arabess]

I never worry about making a fool of myself. I figure the love choices in my past have already proven me an idiot. I have nothing to lose but additional self respect....and I can drink enough beer to curb that too!!! hehehehe!

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Maybe their not all interested in what you want to do. Try asking them what they feel they are good at or what they are interested in and go for it. Another thing is that some friends are comfortable within their clique, and they may not want to associate or make friends with others at that time in their lives. So if you're always slighted when you invited them with you and your friends, but their fine with you tagging along with them and their friends, that maybe the reason.