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I have known this girl for about eight to ten months, i asked her out about three months into our friendship but she said no, and i didn't really understand why, but in all honesty i wasnt too concerned. As the year went on we stayed friends but slowly grew closer together. She finally told me that she hadn't had many relationships before and the reason she said no to me before was because she was scared. Just before HSC (one month ago) we went to a party together and talked about how much we wanted each other. Because she was new to dating i gave her her time and held back until she was comfortable. The day finally came, which was only a week ago and we finally kissed and she asked me to be with her.

It was her year 12 formal only two nights ago and we had a really good night at the location. However, we got to the after party and she seemed a little down, to say the least. We walked to another room that was less noisey and started talking. She told me she didn't want to break up but was scared about the relationship because it was new to her. We got back to the apartment where we stayed with a couple of her friends and when they went to bed we sat up talking. She began telling me that she needed to take a step back and assess what was happening and what she wanted. I REALLY need to know what to do to get her back because i have no idea, i don't want her to tell me im not what she wants because im almost positive that i am. I need help from anyone that has been in the situation before, I'm sure i'm in love with her and would do anything to get her back.

[SoleMate]

It seems she's interested in you, but doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship that might feel a bit smothering.

What does it mean to you to "get her back"? Do you want to enjoy her company occasionally while you both continue to mature and develop new interests, or do you want her to be your committed woman with eyes only for you? You're both about 18, right? And you want to get tied down like married people? Boy, you REALLY are young!

She's telling you again and again that whatever is between you is TOO MUCH for her right now. Sounds like a woman who is developing a sense of what she wants.

You can't MAKE her do anything. Be a friend, live your life, make sure you have a full, happy life even is this girl is not in it. That actually gives you the BEST chance that she will one day want that closeness with you.

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you want more than she can handle right now
just be her friend...let her make the first move...

you cannot get close with someone who is afraid...it just won't happen
she needs to deal with her fears
try talking to her...ask her what it is she is afraid of
she may not be ready any time soon...