PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM COMPLETELY WRONG OR BEING TOO SELFISH!!!!
My boyfriend has the tendency to um...BE LAST MINUTE, i mean telling me things last minute...I CANNOT STAND IT, he knows it, i have raged about it before, yet he STILL is last minute, and claims that it is "out of his control, don't blame him because it isn't his fault, he didn't know in advance" Example...this weekend i wanted him to go on a vacation with me, and he wanted to go, so i bitched and bitched until i was able to make this happen and make my parents consent to it...So many screaming and crying hours later, i finally pulled the damn thing off, and they agreed to let him come.... OH BUT WAIT, he forgot to mention to me that his dad is gone the whole week and that he won't be able to see him so that might be a problem...so then i bitch and moan more so that he can just come for the day from 6am to 6pm...then we'll come home....i COMPLETELY changed my parents plans so that we could pull this off and he could come....so my mother calls his mom, i'm thinking OH YES, FINALLY this might work and he might be able to come...OH BUT WAIT AGAIN...he FORGOT that he has to take his senior pictures on saturday, JESUS f***ing CHRIST, could this piss me off anymore...so he may or may not be able to go...we'll find out...but here's the thing....i told him i wasn't mad at him, because it wasn't his fault, he didn't know, BUT I WAS/AM SOOO MAD at the situation...it's like i completely changed ****, so that maybe this could go our way, but ****...i am mad at the principal of the thing, and i tell him CONSTANTLY, TO PLEASE PLEASE tell me **** in advance....HOW THE HELL DO I GET HIM TO TELL ME THINGS, i mean he KNOWS that if he tells me something last minute, i'll get pissed off....so my question is, if he knows that i'll get mad, WHY DOES HE DO IT ANYWAY!?!?!? HELP, please help me to figure out a way so that i can find things out in advance, rather than the day before.....
I have a son just like that (11 years old)....who had a father just like that. They DON'T change!!! I wonder if subconsciously it's their way of feeling like they have "control". It's their way of constantly remaining the center of attraction.
Believe me honey...they dont ever change. I was with a guy for 2 years..engaged to him..he did stupid crap like that tp purposely piss me off...the more i complained about it to him, the more he did it...so honestly, its not worth your breath and time..he wont ever get out of that!
Is there anything that i can do, because another thing is, when i try to call him on things because he is acting in the wrong, he never sees or understands that he is infact wrong, i am always the one to blame, i can't get mad-he can, i can't yell-he can, i can't hang up the phone abrumbtly-he can....i love him to death, i just hate this, what do i do or say to get things better?
been there, done that...i was in that same spot for 2 years..he could never say or do anything wrong..no matter what, it was always my fault..i was always the bad person..and his whole family thought that way, not just him..so i didnt just have him against me, i had the entire family...no matter what he did, he was an angel!
So, i dunno...i dont think there is anything that can be done. I loved him more than life itself, just hated the fact that no matter what happened or what he did...he was the innocent one and i was the bad one. I couldnt change anything at all either..i tried to tell him and he got mad at me and said *your the one starting it!* and ran to mommy and daddy and they said the same thing..so ya know. I know how it is...been there.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
