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Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Old 11th November 2003, 2:54 PM   #1
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Unhappy Different perspectives..plz

Hi everyone!

I love this forum, since that I know where I can get good advices when I'm down -you guys are great. Thank you!

Today I need your help to define the sentences from my (ex)-bf bc I want to know different perspectives from of you. Hopefully you'll help me out -I'd appreciate it alot!

My story: Right now my new bf & I are breaking up but in somehow we keep exchange emails & phone calls.

He called me last Sunday 11/9/03 (we hadn't been in contact w/ each other since Thursday 11/6/03). Then it ended up he came over and we had a passionate intimacy but we didn't day much to each other. Even when he left, I didn't say anything and neither did he. Then I got this email from him Monday 11/10/03:

"It was very nice to see you Sunday. I’m sorry if I got carried away.
I think I was lonely for you."

"I wish I could have spent more time with you. I know that it is
difficult, though. Oh well, I wish it was different. Take care of yourself."

Please define this sentenses for me - thank you!
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Old 11th November 2003, 3:03 PM   #2
Arabess
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I sent an email once.....pretty much saying the same thing. I don't know what HE meant...but this is what I meant when I said something similar:
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I[color=red] KNOW the relationship isn't going to work (and I had reasons....I won't post). BUT, I still miss you in my life and miss what we once shared together. Let's remember the good part about "US".....and know we must move on. [/color]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can really love someone, but for certain reasons, you know there are reasons it isn't a relationship you need to continue with. I think his statement to you was beautiful because he acknowledged he cared....but couldn't stay.
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Old 11th November 2003, 4:16 PM   #3
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The reason why, I'd like to know other's opinion, is that I'm the one who wanted to break up (but at the same time I do miss him too). I just want to do the right for for us....I just don't want to hurt him and as well do the wrong thing for me/him...don't want that we misunderstad each other......
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Old 11th November 2003, 4:29 PM   #4
DonTomaso
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You should write him an email and tell him how you feel and ask him more about what he meant in that case. Just keep the communication lines clear and open.
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Old 11th November 2003, 4:56 PM   #5
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I know my story sounds complicated but how can I ask him about his email???
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Old 11th November 2003, 5:01 PM   #6
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Like this:

"What did your email mean?"
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Old 11th November 2003, 5:06 PM   #7
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I would actually tell him why you are writing to him so he doesn't wonder the same thing that you are... You could say something like:

Hi.. I am writing because I feel like (FILL IN HOW YOU FEEL HERE).

Then you could ask him what he meant by his email.
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Old 11th November 2003, 6:50 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by DonTomaso
I would actually tell him why you are writing to him so he doesn't wonder the same thing that you are... You could say something like:

Hi.. I am writing because I feel like (FILL IN HOW YOU FEEL HERE).

Then you could ask him what he meant by his email.
That's a great idea.

Ever notice how lots of romantic comedies revolve around misunderstandings between the primary couple. "I thought she..." "But I thought he..." Makes for lots of chuckles in the movie theater. But while you're watching them (or reading) you're thinking "Come on someone just SAY something! Speak up, one of you!"

Someone has to be the brave one, the one who says "I like you, regardless of whether or not you like me. I just do." That doesn't put them in the driver's seat or give them power over you. Not at all; that's you owning your feelings (which exist in their own right, not as a function of reciprocation), and inquiring about what they're up to with vague emails from out of the blue..
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Old 11th November 2003, 7:50 PM   #9
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midori,

I cann't be more agreed with you!

Honestly, 50% I want to try to work it out w/ us and the other 50% I want to end our relationship (plz don't ask me why, bc its a long & complicate story). So either way that will happen, I like things to be clear on everything, bc as what MIDORi said about:

"Ever notice how lots of romantic comedies revolve around misunderstandings between the primary couple. "I thought she..." "But I thought he..." Makes for lots of chuckles in the movie theater. But while you're watching them (or reading) you're thinking "Come on someone just SAY something! Speak up, one of you!"

Thank you for the words, Midori!

PS: I just wrote to him and asked him abt his email, but I didn't explain to him a whole lot about my feelings. Right now I'm nervious & scared. :'(
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Old 11th November 2003, 8:32 PM   #10
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Here's what I get from him email... so you're breaking up, mainly because you wanted to. He knows you want to break up with him, and thinks he went too far the day he came over since you're breaking up... - He really misses you, wishes to be with you more, still wants to be your boyfriend, but he realizes that the relationship is ending, and is trying to accept it. He wishes it didn't come to this - still wants to be with you, but he wants you to be happy and will accept a break up though it is not at all what he wants.
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Old 11th November 2003, 8:53 PM   #11
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RedneckRomeo,

In many ways you might be right..........now I really regret that I have sent him my email w/ those silly questions. Now I'm wondering abt his reply.......
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