[luvueli]

Hi everyone! Well, this is my first time here. I'm seeking advise on how to work things out with my boyfriend of 4 years.
For over a year and 1/2 now our realtionship has not been quite as good as what it used to be when we first started dating. I began feeling neglected and not loved. I would talk to him about how I was feeling and he would say that he was sorry and he would try to make me happy. Yeah, he would, but only for a few weeks, maybe days. Then things were back to the way they were. I always put him first and I was always last for him. I eventually got fed up of being fed up, so I asked him for time alone. He said we either stay together and work things out or break up. So we continued our relationship.

2 months ago I went out of town to visit family. At a family get together I saw an old friend that I haven't seen in years. He looked very attractive. My family and I made plans to go out the following day, the friend went along too. We took pictures together that night. A lot of pictures, hugging and dancing. Yeah flirting was involved, but that was it. When I came back home, my boyfriend saw the pictures and imagined the worse. So I pleaded and I swore that nothing happened.
We kept in touch after that, phone calls, e-mail, instant messages. And a week ago my boyfriend found out I was still e-mailing him and he was devastated.

The guy I thought was a friend said he had slept with me, so my boyfriend wanted to end eveything then and there. Just then I realized that I am in love with my boyfriend and not for anything or anyone do I want to lose him. I have terminated all contact with this other guy. But now my boyfriend does not believe me and is accusing me of things I have not done. And now I want to make him happy. He treats me badly sometimes, but I feel I deserve it. I didn't sleep with anyone and he is making me feel so guilty. Should I put up with him? I truly am in love with him, but I don't know how much torture I am suppose to endure?

[Thinkalot]

Trust is the biggest thing in a relationship. If you don't have that with your boyfriend, then things will never be the same as they were. You need to talk to him directly about all that's going on and then decide.

Good luck.

[red-rose-in-winter]

First of all, why do you say that when your boyfriend treats you badly sometimes, you deserve it? To me it sounds like you haven't done anything wrong.
I agree with Thinkalot that trust is the biggest thing in a relationship. Without trust you really having nothing to base your relationship on.
Why didn't you tell your boyfriend that you were still e-mailing and Instant messaging this so-called "friend?" By your boyfriend finding out on his own really ruined the trust issue. But it's good that you are not talking to that "friend" anymore. Any guy that claims you slept with him when you didn't is NO friend!!!
It will take some time for your boyfriend to trust you again. But if you truly love him, hang in there!!! I can kind of understand why he might be upset about the pictures with the other guy in them, and the e-mailing and instant messaging. Just give it some time, and good luck!!!

[crazyglue03]

I think you should take some time off from this guy and totally re-evaluate your life. If you've asked him for time off before and he acted like a seven year old about it, then he just needs to grow up. And I do agree, trust is a hard thing to come by once its been broken or someone thinks its been broken. He may always have his doubts and insecurities about your relationship. So just try to take some time off if you can and think it over. Love can be blind, and it doesn't sound like you two have the greatest of relationships right now.


Sorry, I know easier said than done.

Good luck

Your right crazyglue easier said than done, but my bf and I are working on that trust issue. So far so good, even though sometimes he does bring up the pictures. But for anyone out there don't make the same mistake. Don't take your partner for granted. That's what happen to us and we realized it almost too late. Thanks for the advise guys, I appreciated!