[MonktonGaz]

Hi there, first post on these forums.

I've recently split with my girlfriend of 4 years, and needed to get some things off my chest I guess.

Anyway, it starts in January. Her father had died, and he was her life, so naturally she was devastated. I was strong for her and for the first half of the year, although she was in pain, we were as solid as it is possible to be.

Then, for some reason I can't even begin to explain, I began to take her for granted. This was simple stuff, such as letting her do the washing up even though she'd cooked. I got lazy.

Then, we had a couple of arguments. Again, nothing special until the point that I told her I'd rather be single and happy than with her. Unforgivable since it was patently untrue and also caused alot of pain.

Throughout the year, although we had arguments there were also great times, such as snorkelling off the coast of Spain, and a cruise to Amsterdam where we had alot of fun. Unfortunately, it would appear that the bad outweighed the good.

7 days ago, we sat down and she said that the love had died for her, and she had nothing else to give. I tried to talk her out of it (I would have regretted it forever if I hadn't) but her mind was made up, even though I could see it was hurting her to do it. The problem is, I never saw it coming. As soon as the subject of break-up was broached, my eyes were opened for me, and I realised how much she meant to me. Unfortunately it was too late.

I admitted defeat, hugged her and wished her good luck in life. Then I said I'd see her in a few years for coffee and to catch up, and walked away without looking back even though it was killing me.

In all this, I've learned one important thing: To wake up each morning and appreciate what you've got. Make each day count, and for God's sake keep talking. If you do, maybe you won't have to wake up one day and find that she's not there. My next relationship will no doubt benefit from lessons learned, but right now all I can feel is guilt and shame, knowing that this woman will never give me the chance to make it right with her - deservedly so - and that in the worst year of her life, I let her down.

[UCFKevin]

Man...let me just tell you that you seem to have an excellent attitude about this. You seem to have your head on completely straight.

I know your pain, about screwing up and hoping to fix your screwups. I'm in that limbo situation right now, I want to make it better with my girlfriend, but I just hope it didn't get so bad that she doesn't want to give me a chance.

[moimeme]

It's very kind of you to tell your story and to do so to educate others about what not to do if you want to keep your relationship.

[Summerday]

I agree with all of you. I also made a huge mistake that cannot be fixed. Now all I can do is accept the consequences and do whatever it takes to become a better person. Learn from my mistakes and move forward with my life. All this with the hope and faith that he will one day give me a second chance.