[jenny]

hello,

i just need some reminders on how to deal with a woman at my work who appears to have quite a hard-on for me. we get along ok, usually, but things went bad, i think, after i kept refusing to go over to her house for dinner. now, i like this lady, she's very earnest, but she is not the type i'd ever want to hang out with socially. it would just be too much work. this is my failing here, maybe i should have just bucked-up and gone to her house, but that would lead to more invitations and i don't want to misspend my leisure time with someone i find drudgery- dull. i can't fake interest in her virtues for more than 10 minutes at a time.

since the fifth invitation and cowardly mumbling on my part, she's been much more painstaking in her conversations and less inclined to giggle over job problems with me. which is cool, we all have expectations of intimacy, and actions have consequences, but she is also not passing on messages and will say stuff at meeting that makes me think i've really pissed her off somehow. in addition, mutual friends have told me she's taken to speculating gossip about myself and my buddies.

as extra information: she is remotely connected to my family and friends, and quite a bit older than me. she has a life of her own, so there is no call for this.

my first response is to always find this stuff funny. since i don't exactly *need* the job, i tend to find this kind of petty discourse simply a chance to play. i think if i remain professional and focused, this will work itself out but i am wondering if anyone else has faced a similar problem and have any tips?

cheers, j

[moimeme]

Is she a colleague, subordinate, or supervisor?

since the fifth invitation and cowardly mumbling on my part

Have you told her you can't make it or don't want to go or have you said something along the lines of 'I can't now but maybe next time'?