[wildfire7698]

LOL....no I am not going to kill him! Although sometimes I wish I had the power to make him go "poof" away at times.....

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him and we do well together most of the time...however, this isn't one of those times.

The other night he called me after work, and since it was late, I told him to just go on to bed and that we'd hang out tommorrow. We agreed that he would call me after his shift was over the next day and then he'd probably come over for dinner to see me. That sounded great to me, we were both a bit tired because we stayed up basically the entire night before watching DVD's. So one day without seeing eachother wasn't going to hurt us. So we agreed to do that... then he said I will call you after I pass out for a bit. He works a 10-12 hour shift and usually naps for a bit before he calls or comes over. Again, I agreed, that was fine. I understood where he was coming from, I have had jobs with crappy shifts before too.

So I come home from Study Group and I waited and waited and waited....no call from him at all. I called his place twice. I was going to tell him to stay there and to not worry about dropping by if he was that tired. I don't want him driving thru the city sleepy cause it was raining kind of bad. Thing is, he would have got back to his place at 7pm, then napped for a few hours,so why didn't he call when he woke up...I left two messages for him as well...so he has no excuse for not returning my call. I was worried about him. In his defense, when he naps he turns the ringer off because his mom usually does call him when he gets home and he just calls her when he gets up. So there is a chance, he has done that.

I have a feeling he might have went out with the boys last night though cause he said his friend has been calling every night wanting him to come over and "jam" together (they play guitar). So he could have been over there, and got home late.
If he decided to do that fine, I don't want to keep him from hanging out with his friends. He has been spending alot of his free time with me, so if he wants to hang with the guys, I have to respect that. But I don't want him to be afraid of calling me to say that. I think that is what happened if he did go over to his buddies. I wouldn't have got mad at all...I would have said for him to go and have fun. But now, I am a little mad b/c he didn't have enough descency to call and cancel with me properly. Or if he didn't go and just really overslept, he could have called me when he got up. That's just a matter of common courtesy.

I don't want to control him at all in any way, I have never been one of those types of girlfriends. I don't have to know where he is at all times and I don't have to occupy all his time. But I expect to filled in if he makes plans with me and can't follow through on them.

I emailed him and just said that I would appreciate it from now on if he couldn't keep plans he made with me, to just call and let me know, I wasn't a smarty about it but rather nice considering. Knowing him, he's there thinking "Oh no, she's mad, I better stay clear for a bit." But that's not the case, I just want him to practice a little common courtesy.

Any advice on how to talk to him about this, I don't want to have this turn into an argument with him. Why are guys so thoughtless at times? Also, do you think I am overreacting?

[UCFKevin]

Guys are no more thoughtless than women at times. Don't paint us all with that brush.

I think you're overreacting a little. Just call him and see what happened. Simple as that.

[jenny]

i respectfully disagree. life is short and there are too many cool people to put up with too many of your guy's problems.

pleasure should exceed inconvenience. period.

i accept that people make mistakes, or accidents happen. but he should have called. to not call is arrogant, particularly when it so inconvenienced you.

[UCFKevin]

Yeah but what if there was some catastrophic incident that prevented him from using the phone?

But yeah I agree. Not calling is RIDICULOUS. There is rarely a good reason for not calling. No one is EVER that busy. He probably forgot, plain and simple.

[moimeme]

life is short and there are too many cool people to put up with too many of your guy's problems.

I don't think that one failure to call warrants a hanging jury. Here's a thought: find out from him what happened before you figure out what your reaction should be. Silly, I know, but I have this thing about asking rather than assuming.

He could have been so tired after talking to you that he fell sound asleep and forgot that he was supposed to call when he woke up. I've done that if I've been REALLY tired and talked to someone just before going to sleep. He might not have checked his messages or his message machine could have failed. Any number of things may have happened; until you find out the truth, you are basing your conclusions purely on speculation. Is that entirely fair?

[jenny]

lol - ok. i agree we cannot speculate on what the guy did. but he set up an expectation that he would call. he did not. she wasted an entire evening and mental energy waiting for him to do so. if he had not set up the expectation, i would say she is overreacting for sure.

now, i disagree with women waiting for men to call, period, but if they have a direct agreement that he would call, and he did not, he is in ethical violation of that agreement. this is understandble if he was somehow physically incapable of calling. or, alternatively, if he explains and apologizes for not calling.

but if he says nothing, this one's not a keeper: he's for breakfast, not for dinner.