Let me start by saying that I'm not looking for any life-altering answers. I doubt such a thing exists. What I am looking for are some ways I can get my dating life out of the rut it's in, and prove to myself that I'm worth anything to anybody, because it doesn't feel that way most of the time.
Let me explain the situation. I'm a 28 year old grad student. After high school, I spent three years serving in the military before returning home for college. While I was in the Army, I had a child with my girlfriend at the time. I essentially spent the next several years studying, working, and raising my son. I didn't have much time at all to go out and meet people, therefore most of the women I've met have been online (the results varied, to say the least).
I've been in several serious, lengthy relationships since returning home, however none of them have been fulfilling in the least. Each one felt like a compromise on my part. I put up with some huge flaws in character, such as a tendency for verbal and physical abuse because I didn't want to be alone. After ending my last relationship earlier this year, I've decided that I definitely won't get into another one until I find the right person.
The problem is, finding the right person! After spending so many years not being able to go out and socialize, I really no longer know how to go out and socialize! I'm incredibly shy, and see very few opportunities to meet people. To top it off, the girls I do meet that I'm interested in treat me like I'm carrying the plague. Okay, maybe not quite that bad. Still, I tend to get treated by quite a few women like I'm simply not worth their time, and that hurts. I consider myself an attractive, outgoing person - although maybe not "hot" by the movie-star, male model standards. I don't know why I can't find and attract the right girl.
I'm at the end of my rope here. I don't see any other options, other than commit myself to a life of perpetual bachelorhood. My father did this, and I don't want to end up in the same situation. After getting a divorce about 20 years ago, and then getting laid off my his work my father dated around, but none of the women he dated were worth his time. Most were drunken welfare mothers. He dated these women because his confidence was so low that he was willing to compromise to be with someone. Since my career isn't taking off as I'd expected, I'm jumping into a different field, and most women my age expect a guy to have a healthy income - I can see myself in the same boat he was in, except I'd rather be alone than go through what he went through.
I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I tried the online dating thing recently. It was a variation of my current dating life, where all of the women I expressed interest in either didn't write back, or wrote back to say "sorry, no way!".
I just feel like such a hideous person right now.
Linear Mode
