[subtitled]

I have a friend who has always been a flirt. She flirts with every boy she meets, she is reknowned at school for flirting with teachers, even the ones who are married. She seems to have some craving for power and loves men to fall at her feet in awe...

the other night we had our school formal and she came with her 4 month long boyfriend (who she'd been friends with for about a year before they got together). Also there was my other friend's date - Phil. Now, my friend and phil were not going out, just friends. Phil was flirting with me for a lot of the night, just like making jokes, teasing me, tackling me in a friendly way, giving me hugs etc. At the after party, we were hanging out together, but my flirt of a friend (annabel) would come up to us and start flirting with Phil IN FRONT OF HER BOYFRIEND... now, i asked her - i don't think your boyfriend would like this would he? and she said - nah, it's cool, he likes it because he likes to see that i'm desired, but that at the end of the day, i'll always come back to him. I thought - that is a very unhealthy relationship.

Anyway, i didnt make a move with Phil because he was interested in another girl at his university, and im currently interested in this other guy out of school, we were just hangning out, being close (like sitting on his lap and stuff) etc. a bit of party entertainment. Annabel, she tells me, was standing with phil in an empty room and he started to put his hands down her pants on her arse and she said "i think someone here wouldn't really like you doing that" (ie. her boyfriend) and he said "what he doesn't know can't hurt him"... THEN later, when phil was saying goodbye to Annabel, he kissed her on the cheek and annabel's boyfriend as a joke said "hey, watch it mate" and phil said "i can do what i like (laugh)" and proceeded to linger a kiss on her cheek again. Annabel complained that he was a sleaze...

I was under the impression that phil was a really nice genuine guy until i was made aware of this. Not only am i ashamed that my friend annabel was being a complete hypocrite, but the guy i was interested in was being somewhat of a sleaze.

Anyway, my question is - can you be in a relationship and still flirt - like Annabel does? She says that she doesn't think she can stay in the relationship if she can't flirt with other guys...

i think it's very unhealthy.

[niko1999]

I think it depends on the degree of flirting. Your freind sounds like she takes it a little too far, espceially when in front of her boyfreind. There is such a thing as freindly flirting, which you do with your freinds, be they male or female, and I do that all the time. And I am also in a long term commited relationship. I think it is not immoral to flirt, but when taken to the next level, as your freind does, than it is too much.