[pinkroses]

A close friend of mine has the following situation. She's asked my opinion, so I thought I'd ask too. Back in June a woman her boyfriend works with got together with him and a couple he knows, at a bar. The woman had a lot to drink and asked him to follow her home to see if she'd make it okay and he reluctantly agreed. When they got there, she came on to him and practically begged him to have sex with her. He was not the least bit attracted or interested in her and he refused. He left and went back to the couple's place.

Well, a couple of months later he told his girlfriend (my friend) that he'd had dinner with a woman who told him she was 8 1/2 weeks pregnant. She paid for his dinner and just needed someone to talk to. At first he, in bad teasing, made (my friend) think he was the father, then related the facts about the baby's actual father, and what the woman talked about, etc. But tracing back the timeline, the woman would have gotten pregnant right about the time she was going after (my friend's boyfriend). My friend says can't shake how too many things add up. The woman probably went out and got pregnant by someone else, but there are questions of why she would take someone else's boyfriend to dinner to talk, and why she'd want to see him, if their last encounter had been so awkward.

I'm trying to reassure her that if he didn't have anything to do with the woman, (and the couple friend can confer that he was not accepting her advances and he was back quickly after taking her home), there's nothing to worry about. Any other takes on it?

[Tony T]

I think it was inappropriate for your boyfriend to have dinner with this woman to discuss her pregnancy. Whether or not he's the daddy will be up to the genetics lab to determine. I think this woman could have picked some girlfriends to discuss this issue with. As far as the timeline, that's irrelevant. He could be the daddy, and if he is your friends relationship is over. If he's not, your friend needs to tell her boyfriend that his role as counsellor and confidant to this pregnant coworker has to cease. She will have to find others, including relatives, to go through this time with or get with the Planned Parenthood people.

Some men are just dumb and have no judgement. But once this lady begged him to have sex with her, that should have been the very last time he was ever alone with her. Something smells here and I'm not sure there's an air freshener that will do any good. You just don't go having dinner with a lady who's after your body....if you've got a girlfriend you care about. Either he's real stupid or he's looking to get some. Pregnant ladies are real safe is certain ways.

[pinkroses]

I accidentally left out is that the situation back in June was before my friend and this guy were "together". At the time they were just friends, but he was feeling more for my friend, one of the many reasons he didn't want any involvement with the co-worker who was after him. He told my friend all about what happened, and how angry the woman got when he wouldn't take her up on her offer. He told her that even though (he and my friend) didn't have a relationship, he felt like he was cheating on her just having this woman after him. I know this guy, and he is all for this friend of mine. He's not the type to be with a lot of women. From what everyone saw and the things that were said, I tend to believe that he didn't have anything to do with the woman who threw herself at him in June. My friend's main concern is why he agreed to have dinner with her two months later, and why it was so important for her to tell him about her pregnancy and her problems with the baby's father.