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Does adultery affect getting a divorce?

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Old 15th September 2003, 9:31 PM   #1
ladyday2u
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Talking Question On Divorce

HERE I AM AGAIN.... THIS TIME IT IS TO ASK A QUESTION I HOPE SOMEONE CAN ANSWER. I HAVE MOVED OUT OF

THE HOME ( I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR THREE WEEKS NOW ) WITH IN THE THREE WEEKS I HAVE MEET A MAN WHO

RESPECTS ME VERY MUCH. WE TRIED VERY HARD NOT TO HAVE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER UNTIL I WAS DIVORCED BUT

YOU KNOW..THINGS HAPPEN. MY QUESTION IS THIS..SINCE I AM THE ONE WHO FILED FOR THE DIVORCE ON THE

GROUNDS THAT I DONT LOVE HIM ANYMORE AND NO LONGER WANT TO BE MARRIED TO HIM WILL THE FACT THAT I


HAVE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE HURT MY CHANCES OF GETTING A DIVORCE? I KNOW ITS ADULTRY, BUT HELL I DONT

WANT HIM ANYMORE. I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE WAITED AND I ALSO KNOW HE CAN USE THE FACT THAT I HAVE

SLEPT WITH SOMEONE TO HIS ADVANTAGE.
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Old 15th September 2003, 9:34 PM   #2
NEONINK
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Did you have a written legal separation agreement ready the day you moved out?

A separation agreement is usually the thing that frees you up and sets the terms.
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Old 15th September 2003, 10:13 PM   #3
ladyday2u
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NO I DIDNT..BUT WHEN I FILED MY PAPERS IT ASKED WHEN I MOVED OUT AND SEPERATED AND I FILLED IN THE DATE. BUT THERE WAS NO LEGAL SEPERATION PAPERS..i LIVE IN THE STATE OF INDIANA
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Old 15th September 2003, 10:17 PM   #4
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First of all - why are you yelling? Tone it down a notch, would ya?

Does your husband already know that you spread 'em to the other guy? If not, then I suggest not telling him. He can't use it against you if he doesn't know. And plus...you are already filing for divorce...why hurt him further??
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Old 15th September 2003, 10:42 PM   #5
Tony T
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Most states are no-fault states and there are no real grounds for divorce other than irreconcilable differences. That means you can screw every man in the world before or after the divorce with no affect on the proceedings. However, if children are involved and your husband can prove you are indiscrete in your sexual dealings with other men in such a way that the children may be affected, you won't get custody from the courts. If no children are involved, what you do sexually is your business and God Bless You!!! Adultery will not affect property settlements or any other aspect of the split, except if your husband is pissed off enough he'll spend more money on attorneys to make sure the screwing you got wasn't worth the screwing you got.
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Old 15th September 2003, 11:12 PM   #6
ladyday2u
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thanks

I am out of the home so there is nothing that I am doing before my minor child.
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Old 15th September 2003, 11:15 PM   #7
ladyday2u
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tony
Most states are no-fault states and there are no real grounds for divorce other than irreconcilable differences. That means you can screw every man in the world before or after the divorce with no affect on the proceedings. However, if children are involved and your husband can prove you are indiscrete in your sexual dealings with other men in such a way that the children may be affected, you won't get custody from the courts. If no children are involved, what you do sexually is your business and God Bless You!!! Adultery will not affect property settlements or any other aspect of the split, except if your husband is pissed off enough he'll spend more money on attorneys to make sure the screwing you got wasn't worth the screwing you got.
I liked the last line...Cute
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Old 15th September 2003, 11:40 PM   #8
cindy0039
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Re: thanks

Quote:
Originally posted by ladyday2u
I am out of the home so there is nothing that I am doing before my minor child.
Does this mean you left the child with your husband and just moved out?
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Old 16th September 2003, 12:03 AM   #9
ladyday2u
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when I asked him who he wanted to stay with he said his dad...So yes I have moved out and left my son with his father, but I talk to my sone every day
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Old 16th September 2003, 12:36 AM   #10
cindy0039
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Since that's the case, I doubt that there would be any problem with the divorce. It sounds like you're planning to let the father have custody, so why would he try to make things difficult for you? Is he fighting the divorce?

I would just be very careful about keeping things private until after the divorce and don't talk to people about your personal business so that it doesn't get back to your husband.
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Old 16th September 2003, 12:44 AM   #11
Tony T
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Cindy is absolutely correct. If you are discrete in your sexual encounters and keep your mouth shut, who has to know?
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Old 18th September 2003, 1:30 AM   #12
VASH THE STAMPEDE
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Exclamation

from what a lawyer friend of mine said, was that in the state of indiana; if your former spouse could prove without a doubt you commited adultry, its a 75% chance you could lose everything.you have to remember each judge judges differently.
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Old 18th September 2003, 1:38 AM   #13
VASH THE STAMPEDE
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Talking

oh......and in the state of illinois is usaly 50-50...if anybody needed to know.
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Old 18th September 2003, 1:39 AM   #14
Tony T
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"you have to remember each judge judges differently."

Every judge everywhere has to rule according to the law. Judges are not allowed to make law in the courtroom. If they use their discretion to liberally, they will surely be reversed on appeal. If they do it too often, they are removed from the bench by the chief judge or the judicial review board in their state.

The only way you can prove adultery is if one or the other party testifies in court or if you have video of the act. As for your 50-50 statement, you are correct. Most states are community property states in which assets are divided equally between the parties.
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Old 18th September 2003, 8:36 PM   #15
ladyday2u
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Talking more questions.

I need to know when you file for a divorce if the other spouse creates a debt are you responsible for it as well.I have filed for the divorce on july 25th 2003. so can he make debts on me?
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