today i had a counseling session with the pastor of our church. i had mentioned that i was in counseling for some problems. he asked me if my fiance was in with me and i told him no. he felt that we should both be in counseling that if one needs it the other should also. so i told my fiance this and he asked me what i thought he needed counseling for. i told him how bout your temper, you impatience, your intolerance, your words that you spat at me when you get mad. he said he thought i was going for some "female issues", funny he knew when i started going that it was not for "female issues" but for issues of our relationship.
i told him he only had a few days to think it over then i wanted to know. i am hoping he will go with to the church counseling because i do not think it is fair to carry the burden of the whole relationship on me. to me when he thinks he needs no counseling makes me feel that the problems in our relationship our all my fault. what do you think? do you think if one goes to counseling that they should really go together. i trust the pastor, he has done counseling for some 34 years, he should know something right? it was not a real counseling session today but i had to talk to him about some church related issues and it came up and i started crying about a dispute we had this morning then i told him everything!

[Nazima]

A relationship is a partnership. If one person is having issues, the relationship is involved and both people need to look at the situation. Especially when it involves sensitive things like you spoke of, tempers, impatience, intolerance, etc. I think he is trying to avoid the issue by saying you have 'female issues', thereby removing any responsibility from himself, which also allows him to continue in his behaviors. If he is unwilling to address your concerns about his attitude and behavior, or even consider the possibility that he may have problems with his attitude and behavior, then he is not being respectful of your concerns and you are leaving yourself open for future hurt and heartbreak.

[EnigmaXOXO]

...But I wouldn't necessarily give up on your counseling sessions if you can't pursued your partner to join. It may still provide you with some communication skills that you could use to help defuse potential volatile situations....or perhaps give you what you need to make a decision whether or not to pursue the relationship or walk away.

It can also be nice to have an outside third party to confide in that is not directly associated with your relationship who can provide an objective point of view.