I found this site just bumming around and thought I would post my story. My 1.5 year relationship ended about 2 weeks ago and it is a little confusing, but then again, who understands love. We are both mid 20’s and had a lot of things in common, probably more so than most people. We had similar educational backgrounds (which is odd in my profession), similar views, thoughts, hobbies, etc. and we had chemistry from the start.

During the entire relationship, we never had a single argument or disagreement. Neither one of us were pushovers, we just got along well enough and understood each other enough to effectively compromise.

Everything was good until a few months ago when I noticed she started distancing herself from me some. I started trying to fire things back up, took her on a vacation, etc. but things just seemed to be slowly deteriorating. I decided that it was now time to start asking questions. When I asked what was wrong, I was told that she did not know, that we were perfect and that she did not know what or why this was happening. We continued talking, but I could not get any definite answers out of her. So I let it go on for a few weeks and did not to push the issue, but I made sure that she knew that I was committed to finding and resolving the issues.

I finally got her to talk about a few things that were bothering her and they were resolved as far as I know. I think the worst issue that she had was along the lines of would I be willing to eventually move with her closer to her family (a few thousand miles). My answer was that it was not a problem for me; I would be happy wherever we went, I told her that she was more important to me than where I live.

A week goes by and things improved some, another week, and she distanced her self farther from me than before. When I asked what was wrong, she said that she did not think it was going to work, she did not think that she had the feelings that she needed, and she did not think that things were going to change. She reiterated that she thought that we were perfect, that we had so many things in common, and that I treated her great and she did not understand why. She told me that she was sorry, when I asked what for, she responded by saying that she was sorry for not being able to develop the feelings. So, I walked out the door, told her if she wakes up one morning and changes her mind, then she knows how to find me.

I have not talked to her in 2 weeks, and I am not going to call. It was her decision, not mine. If she really does not love me, then there is nothing that I can do. If she realizes that she does, then she will call. The thing that gets me is that I am afraid that she is waiting to re-live that first love feeling and without that, she will not be happy. You know the feeling where you have to be around someone 24/7, continually wonder what they are doing, etc. I do not know anyone that has ever found that first love feeling again, and I do not think that you ever do. Most people were still kids when they experienced that and it is not something that you can relive as an adult. Oh well, I may be wrong, but no matter what I wish her the best and hope that she finds happiness whether she finds her way back to me or with someone else.

I guess that sometimes people are just not meant to be together. I put in a lot of text to ask one question, are there any thoughts on the posibility of re-living that high school first love feeling once you are an adult with a career?

[NEONINK]

I posted the reply once, this might duplicate???

Here goes:


Just Looking:
Yes, but no. Well that's clear as mud, isn't it?

The carefree days are probably over, I can't seem to relive them either, although after coming out of a marriage, I felt like that for a brief moment. But then big people's problems started to creep in.

However, there is an upside. As you get older you don't worry about the little **** that used to bother you. You tend not to get as jealous as you used to get. Your heart seems to grow bigger, not faster. You know the difference between making love and just sex. You know what you don't want in a relationship. You are more self-assured and more choosy the next time around. You might be more guarded or jaded, but you can address that but trusting and opening your heart up, so it could feel like a kid again.