My girlfriend of over 2.5 yrs and I just broke up and I'm going crazy trying to figure out what to do next. Do I wait for her to figure things out and hope she wants to get back together, or do I move on? We basically broke up because she had expected us to get engaged over the summer and I didn't pop the question. She's 27 and I'm 28. The ironic thing is the night she broke up with me, is the night that I was going to pop the question. She said she needs to be alone, and isn't sure about us anymore. I have made the mistake of calling her a couple of times already. Any advice on where to go from here?
Space is important one way or the other. When you call, does she want to talk? does she call you? does she talk about getting together? is this a break or a break up? does she want to date others? what else is going on here.......did u explain that you were really gonna do it??
we've talked almost every day, and she seems genuinely glad to talk to me. she didn't believe me when i told her i was going to go through with the proposal. when we talk, i've expressed to her that i am willing to be patient with her and giver her time, but i am struggling with it inside. should i wait it out or move on? she has not expressed interest in dating others, we didn't break up because i cheated or we fought to much or any other typical reason, so this is really a matter of her frustrations of my non-proposal manifesting. what do you guys think? wait it out or move on. i really think she is the one and want to work things out.
Well if it's truly her being upset you didn't propose, now that she knows you wanted to, i would think it would only take a few weeks at most for her to come around and the excitement to take over. If that isn't the real reason, and she's just saying that, who knows-you might wait a month, 6 months, a year, nothing may ever happen for whatever reason. If your heart is into it, stick with it-
most people on here will tell you to move on, let her come to you, forget about it, it's over-but that's all well and good, but none of us can tell you to move on. It just has to happen, you can do things like take down some piuctures and stuff, but as far as thinking about her, wanting to talk to her, all of that.......it takes time for that to go away, there's no way you can intentionally move on.
I'd say maybe here's a good approach. Stick with it as long as you are into it-because eventually you'll say screw it, and that's when you've really started to move on.
I guess I'm to the point where I want to say "screw it", at least for the time being. We have talked everyday over the past week, and we keep going in circles. one night she wanted to get together for dinner. i was hesitant, but agreed, and it was more of the same. She continues to dwell on the negatives of our relationship, and has asked if we should see other people. At first my response was if you start to see other people, I'll know it's over. But after putting some more thought into it, I simply told her that I wanted her to be happy, and I obviously wasn't making her happy, so if she thinks someone else can provide that happiness for her, than she deserves it. she asked if we could still be friends, and i reluctantly said yes. after that we talked some more about things, and she continued to say she needs more time, and doesn't know about things. i still want to work things out, but i also feel like i need to move on. any thoughts?
A very simular thing happened to me - though my relationship was 4 years old.
My advice - is NOT to contact her. Right now you are an emotional tie to her - she can put all her emotions onto you.
She wanted space, so give it to her. She will relaize what she is missing when she no longer talks to you. If she calls, don't answer the phone - or tell her you are busy, going out. Even if your having trouble, do not ler her know that.
I think I'm starting to lose my mind over this. She called me last night on my cell, but did not leave a message. I called her back a little while later, and she didn't pick up, so I left a message that has gone unreturned. I am at the point where I want to break this thing off completely so that I can get on with my life. Maybe she feels like it's already broken off, but I need to hear that it's over before I can truly move on.
From my young (21) and female point of view, however naive it might be, I think you should make sure to express to her that you truly believe she is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Make sure she knows without a doubt!! She really might not believe that you were going to pop the question the night she broke it off and she might think you are just saying anything to get her back. And if that is the case then she's probably scared to get back together out of fear that you will not end up wanting to propose to her after all. I don't think you should give up. I think you should call her/see her and tell/show her exactly how you feel and make sure she can see that you know you want to be with her for the rest of your life. Maybe what you've been doing, you think is showing her enough, but its worth a try to attempt to show her even more if you really believe she is the one for you. wish you luck
I've tried telling her and writing to her how much I believe that she is the one, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. However, she continues to ask why I am waiting until now to say these things, and she is doubting my sincerity when I say them. I feel that I have done all that I can do. I failed to mention that she was engaged about 4 years ago, and the guy she was engaged to, broke it off after 2 weeks. I think she thought that I was going to hurt her, so she made a preemptive move, however wrong it may have been.
Well, due to her past engagement and how it ended, now it makes a little more sense why she is acting this way. That is some major scar tissue. But, I still think you should hang in there, maybe she just needs some time to realize your sincerity and that you won't hurt her.
I'm hanging in there, but I'm going to back off. I think I stressed her out by constantly wanting to talk about things. This isn't going to be solved overnight, so I guess I'm going to have to be patient. She mentioned seeing other people, to"see what makes her happy", which I'm not crazy about, but I guess she's entitled to do what she wants at this point, and that right now she just wanted to be my friend. She doesn't have someone lined up, so I've ruled that out as a reason for the split. I'm trying not to call her or even think about her, and hope that things will swing back in my favor at some point.
Hey, i'm only fourteen, (i'm sure many of you think that makes me very nieve, but you wouldbe suprised) i've studied psycholgy and all that stuff, but when it happens (i has just happened to me, but hse had been seign the other guy for 2 week before she told me) it hurts, i'm also trying to win her back, but u actually have a chance... i know you have tryed to stress to her your intentions, but continue to do so...think of somehting that will make her think "...Wow, he really does love me" something that will suprise her... maybe ask her friends for help? (i don't know if u have good relationships with her friends) but just hold on, and know that if in the end she's not the one, there stilll is someone out there for you and that god will make sure you meet them... good luck!!!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
What should I don now?
Linear Mode
