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Old 3rd August 2003, 5:41 PM   #1
shauna
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boyfriend trying to prove himself?

hello,

i recently have been noticing a change in my boyfriend. we have been friends for about 7 years and are in the same social group. we have been dating for 3 months now. the problem is that he seems to change his personality around our friends. he is very sweet and caring with me, but wants to prove himself or get attention or maybe impress me when we are with our friends. he is beginning to act arrogant, which i hate, and is very logical about everything (even to the point of not enjoying a joke). i wish he would just loosen up and be himself. i haven't talked to him about this yet, but plan on doing so soon. i was just wondering if anyone had any insight or possible advice. thanks.
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Old 3rd August 2003, 6:54 PM   #2
jalexy
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sadly, this is very normal for males. i feel lucky, extremely lucky, when a guy doesnt act more manly in front of his friends.
i would talk to him about this....and you know, if he really changes a whole lot, i suggest you show him with body language that you dont appreciate it. i dated a guy who wouldnt hold my hand when he was with his guy friends, and he wouldnt show me any affection whatsover , i was basically one of the boys when we were with them. that was not ok. so what you do, is tell him you wont go out with them anymore unless he shows you some respect, changing drastically isnt acceptable.....
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Old 3rd August 2003, 7:01 PM   #3
yes
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada
Posts: 2,985
hmm

randomly-ordered thoughts:

- thank god he's different with you than with everyone else. you should be getting special treatment, and seeing him more like the way he really is than the rest of the world!

- you can't ask him to be different - it's just the way he is. what you can do is make him feel different when you're out with friends, s.t. he's more relaxed, and doesnt' feel the need to put on a show

- the fact that he's SO diff't w/ friends vs. in private should be telling you something about his personality. Why does he change so much? Is he insecure? Does he try to blend in, or the opposite? Does he try to impress you, or his friends? Analyze it a bit...

good luck,
-yes
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Old 3rd August 2003, 11:42 PM   #4
longlegzs80
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 967
Post Guys....

Guys are a very funny creature. I think everyone gets alittle different when they are with friends and they are with their boy or girlfriends. But I think you see this alot in males, because it is them acting cocky to fit in with the social group or to attract attention. That is the only reasons why I think a guy would change his ways. Other then that, if he treats you well, and things are going well in your relationship, I really don;t think there is any need to question. Hope this helps.
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