DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 So now that the dust has settled and the breakup is official. You've tried to move on, institute no contact and focus on yourself. Sure, you miss them and may be hoping and praying that they get in contact with you in any way, shape or form. Then......they do. For the first time in a long time HOPE begins to consume you. Well in that moment, it's important to understand the translation of what they're really saying. Before you break NC here's a few common sayings for you that warrant no response. Feel free to add your own: "I was thinking about you" = I was thinking about myself, and things I need right now "I'm sorry, you don't deserve this treatment" = Please don't hate me. "I miss you" = I miss the attention. "Let's be friends" = Let me off the hook. "I just got a new car today" = Let me just say something completely random and go fishing for a response....i want to know I still have em' on the hook. "I just have so many things going on right now, school, work and family issues" = Let me mention things that seem important to try and mask the real reason I am breaking up with you. "I need some space right now" = I give up. Only valid response: "I'm sorry, I made a huge mistake and am willing to do whatever it takes to make it work" = Now you have some thinking to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I am Bananaboat11 and I approve this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 So now that the dust has settled and the breakup is official. You've tried to move on, institute no contact and focus on yourself. Sure, you miss them and may be hoping and praying that they get in contact with you in any way, shape or form. Then......they do. For the first time in a long time HOPE begins to consume you. Well in that moment, it's important to understand the translation of what they're really saying. Before you break NC here's a few common sayings for you that warrant no response. Feel free to add your own: "I was thinking about you" = I was thinking about myself, and things I need right now "I'm sorry, you don't deserve this treatment" = Please don't hate me. "I miss you" = I miss the attention. "Let's be friends" = Let me off the hook. "I just got a new car today" = Let me just say something completely random and go fishing for a response....i want to know I still have em' on the hook. "I just have so many things going on right now, school, work and family issues" = Let me mention things that seem important to try and mask the real reason I am breaking up with you. "I need some space right now" = I give up. Only valid response: "I'm sorry, I made a huge mistake and am willing to do whatever it takes to make it work" = Now you have some thinking to do.... pearls of wisdom... The question is how many of them come back with the "only valid response"??? and when they do and you do go for the second chance how many times has it lasted and ended up in success??? i do hope that one day my ex comes back with the "valid response".... Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 pearls of wisdom... The question is how many of them come back with the "only valid response"??? and when they do and you do go for the second chance how many times has it lasted and ended up in success??? i do hope that one day my ex comes back with the "valid response".... 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000 come back with that valid response. I'm sorry. Arbitrary statistic, but it sounds more realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000 come back with that valid response. I'm sorry. Arbitrary statistic, but it sounds more realistic. i love statistics...- and even though i know and accept that - unfortunately the heart wants something different to the mind... i was always the optimist in my relationship and my ex the realist..... Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 "I just have so many things going on right now, school, work and family issues" = Let me mention things that seem important to try and mask the real reason I am breaking up with you. "I need some space right now" = I give up. **** & ****...I got both of these. On top of "You don't make enough money" Kill me right now. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 **** & ****...I got both of these. On top of "You don't make enough money" Kill me right now. Thorgs - dont think that way.... I got dumped because she didnt think i was worth standing up for to her family... then i got the lets be friends... about the money thing - you should be glad to get rid of her - would you really want to be with someone who was materialistic??? i know i wouldnt... thats just someone who is shallow.... Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Thorgs - dont think that way.... I got dumped because she didnt think i was worth standing up for to her family... then i got the lets be friends... about the money thing - you should be glad to get rid of her - would you really want to be with someone who was materialistic??? i know i wouldnt... thats just someone who is shallow.... I know, it just sucks that she couldn't tell me straight up why she was dumping me. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I know, it just sucks that she couldn't tell me straight up why she was dumping me. hey it just shows that she wasnt deserving of the love you gave her, because if she was then she would tell you the truth.... TBH i doubt that any dumpers actually say the truth when they do the "deed".... they try and mask it in an effort to either: a) save face and make themselves look better or b) not hurt our feelings because as sick and twisted as it may sound they care about us in some way shape or form Link to post Share on other sites
Author DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 pearls of wisdom... The question is how many of them come back with the "only valid response"??? and when they do and you do go for the second chance how many times has it lasted and ended up in success??? i do hope that one day my ex comes back with the "valid response".... Any kind of response.......7 in 10. The valid response.......have to agree with banana. Because even in the small instance that they did feel that way, they have to admit that they screwed up. No one wants to admit they made a mistake unless they know that what they truly want is bigger than their own ego. Why admit a mistake when you can just move onto someone new? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 "You don't make enough money" = I'm not stable enough to provide for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 = I'm not stable enough to provide for myself. couldnt have said it better myself.... The valid response.......have to agree with banana. Because even in the small instance that they did feel that way, they have to admit that they screwed up. No one wants to admit they made a mistake unless they know that what they truly want is bigger than their own ego. Why admit a mistake when you can just move onto someone new? perfectly worded - no one wants to admit they messed up - unless of course there are extenuating circumstances then its different but other than that the human ego can make you do some mad stuff.... as tara said to me on one of my other threads by sticking to NC we become the all elusive "one" - the one that got away - that has to be one helluva feeling... i want to be that guy - i want to be the guy that 30 yrs from now she still thinks about (unless i am with her 30 yrs from now).... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 = I'm not stable enough to provide for myself. Yeah, that's what I would have said too...but she makes near $6500/month, so I think I was just a rebound for her because her break up reasons were so bogus. Blah. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 Yeah, that's what I would have said too...but she makes near $6500/month, so I think I was just a rebound for her because her break up reasons were so bogus. Blah. $6500 a month? She needs an accountant then, not a boyfriend. You're a good dude, she doesn't deserve you. Stick to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 $6500 a month? She needs an accountant then, not a boyfriend. You're a good dude, she doesn't deserve you. Stick to NC. thorgs as i said before its her loss not yours.... rebound or no rebound you deserve better, we all do, we deserve to be with people that love us for who we are, people that love us as much as we love them, people who will stand up for us when needed... Stick to NC and focus on yourself - and when fate has it in store for that person to waltz into your life she will.... Dusty - sorry for jackin your board.... As you can tell I have lots to say and LS really lets me just be myself and be around people who understand what i am going through... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 thorgs as i said before its her loss not yours.... rebound or no rebound you deserve better, we all do, we deserve to be with people that love us for who we are, people that love us as much as we love them, people who will stand up for us when needed... Stick to NC and focus on yourself - and when fate has it in store for that person to waltz into your life she will.... Dusty - sorry for jackin your board.... As you can tell I have lots to say and LS really lets me just be myself and be around people who understand what i am going through... Whatever it takes to help you move forward. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Whatever it takes to help you move forward. Hang in there. you went through some serious hell with your break up.... and seeing the courage you have makes people like me gain the courage to get over this... my only question is how do i stop loving someone for who i would have given my last breath... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 you went through some serious hell with your break up.... and seeing the courage you have makes people like me gain the courage to get over this... my only question is how do i stop loving someone for who i would have given my last breath... You realize that you haven't yet met the person that feels 100% the same way about you. You will in time and that's a profound feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 is love such a crime such as to put us through such punishment??? what have we done do deserve the pain the pain that i would not ask for my worst enemy?? all i did was love, and love unconditionally i did - i feel sadness for now it isnt reciprocated, but i cannot stop loving her, for my love has no boundaries... i may grieve at this moment, but deep down the pain will subside, the hurt will die, and at the end all that is left is love, love that causes us both pain and sorrow, love that has the power to make and destroy both the weakest and strongest of souls... we did not deserve the pain, yet without the pain we would not have learnt to love and at the end of it all - love is all that matters... Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 God - i've just decoded all those ex texts now. What a douche! Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I just don't want to be with you anymore = I'm banging your friend and co-worker! Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I just don't want to be with you anymore = I'm banging your friend and co-worker! wow thats harsh.... i got i dont want to be with you cos my dad is racist.... Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 i dont want to be with you cos my dad is racist.... = I can't yet make decisions on my own. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 = I can't yet make decisions on my own. or that.... I really f****d up today... i went onto FB - what a waste of 10 friggin days.... i didnt say anything just had a little look at the pics on her profile... she is all tanned now, her colour is now the same as mine....catching up with all her friends - people she used to slag off to me... why do i f****** do this to myself... and to top it off had a cigarette after 2 weeks of not smoking...... FML Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 or that.... I really f****d up today... i went onto FB - what a waste of 10 friggin days.... i didnt say anything just had a little look at the pics on her profile... she is all tanned now, her colour is now the same as mine....catching up with all her friends - people she used to slag off to me... why do i f****** do this to myself... and to top it off had a cigarette after 2 weeks of not smoking...... FML I know, FB is evil!!! I did that yesterday. I tried quitting but only lasted 1 day! Honestly I feel better when I don't smoke...I'm just too stressed and bored lately which makes it hard. On top of it, my work was canceled again today because there's still no power so I'm stuck at home...this sucks. I'm so close to mailing her that letter Link to post Share on other sites
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