[amy_sh81]

First off, I know this is probably the wrong forum to post this message, but it didn't really seem to belong in any of the forums-- I apologize.

I'll just jump right in. I'm a 22-year old college student, and this summer I took an English class from a wonderful professor who happens to be exactly 31 years my senior (53). It was a small class, so I got many chances to interact with "Professor G." I found him to be a very intelligent, funny and interesting person, and a few weeks into the semester, I realized I couldn't get him off my mind. I went to many of his office hours under the guise of "needing help" with assignments, never missed a single lecture, stayed at class late to talk to him, etc.

Professor G always seemed to welcome my presence and enjoy our conversations. He complimented my writing many times during class and even called a couple of my poems and short stories some of the best works he's ever received. (Yes, I was floating on clouds after that! ) Two weeks ago, I was talking to him during his office hours and he mentioned that the other students really look up to me and think I'm so smart and pretty. I know I shouldn't read anything into that comment, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if someone had actually told him that-- or if it was his own guess..?

On Wednesday, our last day of class, Professor G gave me a book that he had mentioned a couple times over the course of the semester and urged me to read. I hadn't had time to pick it up yet, and he knew this, and so he went out and bought me a copy. I was so happy! Every nice gesture he has made to me, every compliment he has paid.....I treasure them and cling to them with my whole heart. --It's really very pathetic.

Now-- Professor G has a wife and 2 sons, and I know he is only interested me as an excellent student, nothing more. I know this, yet I can't seem to stop thinking about him.....it's been nearly three days since school let out, yet his face is the last thing I picture before I fall asleep, I find myself writing his name absentmindedly on papers, I yearn to talk to him again. (By the way, this is not a superficial attraction. Professor G is by no stretch of imagination what one might label "hot." He resembles Robin Williams much more than he does Richard Gere.)

It's gotten to the point where I'm scaring myself with my "obsession" with this man. I know this crush is largely based on fantasy, and I have absolutely no desire or intention to break up his marriage-- not that I'd fool myself into thinking that I even could in the first place! I know a romantic relationship between us is wholly impossible. I really can't figure out what's wrong with me. Why have I become so impossibly drawn to this man? I'm sure this crush is unhealthy and probably makes me out to be some sort of insane little girl to those of you who're reading this, and believe me, if I could kill these feelings, I would.

I've written this embarrassing message because I need help/advice....I'm driving myself crazy by moping around thinking of Professor G every day. I go out and have fun with my friends, but still, he's always there lurking in the back of my mind. I must stop this! Please help, in any way possible. I'm much too embarrassed to discuss this issue with either family or friends.