[jordan]

I recently told the girl I love and have been with for three years that I need to "take a break." I realized that she might be hurt and confused and so it was difficult to ask for space. What I didn't realize was how hurt and confused I'd still be.

I guess I thought there would be some sort of clarity after telling her, since I'd been thinking about making such a decision for a couple of months now. I thought perhaps I'd feel relieved. But there's none of that. Instead I feel empty, lost, and hurt, and I miss her.

I really wish I wasn't so confused. Am I fooling myself? Is a break just an inevitable break-up? She's wonderful and has done nothing wrong in the relationship. I just feel like I have lost myself somewhere, and do not have anything to give to her during this confusing time of my life. She wants to be there for me during this, but I just feel like I'm not giving her anything and would rather not drag her down with me right now, b/c I know she feels insignificant when I'm in this state of mind.

So I guess my question is what does a break mean? Can it realistically happen? I feel like I can lose her forever by doing this, but also feel like I can lose her forever if I don't (if that makes any sense). Any insights or experiences on this subject would be appreciated.