Sorry for the previous post, was a bit of an epic!
Anyways I was dumped about 3 weeks ago and my ex still contacts me.
Its like she couldn't bear not to have my friendship but its killing me a bit cause I still love her. Im handling it pretty well and not acting any differently in her company but i want her so much.
I dont want to be weak and appreciate that i still have contact with her but i just cant stop thinking about her.
Shes knows shes hurt me bad, Im not naive and dont know if this is some sort of peace making ploy.
It all gives me hope! I miss her but none of this seems mutual.
I am in the same position you are in. My ex dumped me. She contacted me 2.5 months after the breakup asking about a blonde i was with at the concert.
I know the hurt that you are going through, as I am going through it myself. You did the right thing, as it was the same thing I did. I just replied, stated the facts COLDLY mind you. I didn't insult, even though it was my intent I didn't curse, name call, nothing of the sort.
I very politely put her down. The advice to you is to let her come back to you, odds of that happening are about as good as getting struck by lighting and winning the lotto on the same day.
HANG TOUGH, we are all here for ya Snoop! By the way love your raps.
She was engaged to be married for about 8 years aswell.
This was called of about 2 years ago, the other dude must have been really hurt. My situ is similar, obviously not as serious but this girl obviously has a problem with commitment.
I never asked for much but would have done anything for her. This dude would come round to her house when I was with her though. I was infact cool about this cause i trusted her and knew he was part of her life. He would also send her SMS to her cell phone all the time.
I dont wanna be like that dude - i need to let go but she has stated clearly that she wants to be friends.
Do ya think I should just chill and see what happens. She said some really nice things to me and tells me Im the best person shes met, think she found that difficult to say though which makes me feel wanted.
Honestly, you don't want to fall into the "friends" zone. That is a bubble you will never be able to break out of. Chris Rock did a bit in one his stand-ups about platonic friendships, THEY DON'T WORK, NEVER WILL.
Best advice, is to let this girl go....Not to sound cliched` even though it will....If she comes back to you, you know it is true love.
You will only allow yourself to be hurt possibly again. I, on the otherhand was emailed twice last week, the second time her friend jumped in and said some not-so-nice things about me. You have NO IDEA, how I wanted to just rip her a new a$$ but I played it cool..I am a graduate student, 4 classes away from my Master's Degree, so I used my education and insulted her with big words and so-forth. Haven't heard from them since, far as I know they might still be trying to translate the email I sent.
Simply tell her, you appreciate the "Friend" offer, I know same B.S. line that was given to me at the time of the break-up and tell her you need a clean break since you do not see her as simply a "Friend". Because I can PROMISE you that you will be miserable when you hang out with her, think of the times you would hug her and kiss her at random. You would have to catch yourself, and resist the urge....TO ME IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
Finally, I had tickets to see one of my all-time fav bands from your side of the pond on the 29th of July...I seriously thought of giving the seats away that is how sad I was when I was emailed.
HANG IN THERE SNOOP, drop down some Last Meal it will heal itself...Writing in here helps TONS!
Sorry for not acknowledging your prob previousy....
I can see both sides of the fence now, this is like a case of 'what goes around comes around'. I really hurt my ex ex, we were together 2 years and worked together things were great - really nice girl. Went on holiday to Rhodes together but then my feelings changed cause I thought I was missing out on other things.
After a very messy breakup, lots of tears from both parties. I emailed her, think I done this to make sure that she was ok, inside I knew I was liable for her hurt....guilt perhaps.
Work was unbearable, she got a new job and everything was quiet for a while. I then decided that I had made a mistake and wanted her back, I was fortunate to get her back but things weren't the same. We subsequently split up about 6 months later.
She still works for the same company, I met her at corporate training course last Nov.......I was hurt again but not in the sense I am now.....total head **** now!! (this is the 'come around' part)
If you dont have to see this girl dont respond to her emails, which is rich coming from me as my ex has been at my house a few times recently but I dont really have a choice ;
I am real close with her parents. Her parents are also like family to my best friend. They will have times together and I will be invited. I will see her. I have therefore adopted the approach of getting on with her and through time my feelings will change.
I have everything I want in my life right now, which Im grateful for. I want mutual love though and I was just about getting there in my previous relationship.
What hurts most is missing the intimate moments, I hate losing things and find it hard to let go if Ive worked hard at something...like her.
So what UK band was it ??? Hows Michigan ? I would love to go to the states.......NYC... I know another cliche....like saying you want to come and see the loch ness monster!
Even though I'm 27, don't laugh the band is Roxy Music. I was lucky to see them in 2001, I was so looking forward to seeing them again in 2 weeks. I thought about it, and thought about it, and it's like F$%# I'm not going to let that you know what ruin my evening it might be the last time I get to see these guys.
I have been dating this other girl for about almost two months now, and I even treated her bad this past weekend, accusing her of stuff she wasn't doing all because of my hurt/insecurities. I thought the girl I was dating, after I treated her like S$%# Saturday was not going to want to go with me, which made me more depressed and I thought about just giving my tickets to my older brother/wife as he has listened to them since he was a kid and never got the chance to see them live.
I'm happy that you are taking the attitude that you can be friends with your ex, I just don't have the personality, or temperment to be able to faciliatate that type of a friendship with the ex's I've dated.
It makes it that much more difficult if you have to see her at work, or being close to family members thus having to see her at functions and so forth. As far as Michigan goes, it has been a great summer so far, after a cold/wet/miserable start in May/June.
Luckily, I don't have to see this girl. She does go to the same university as I do, however we have different majors and it is unlikely we would run into each other in the hall even though classes would be in the same building. I am lucky in that respect, I don't know if I could stand seeing her at work like you can.
I liked most all UK bands from the late 60's through 70's
Hopefully you get back with this chick If not, there are MANY, MANY, MANY more women out there that will be greatfull there are people like you around.
Hope things work out for you too!!! you obviously got a good brain, so be positive and confident.
I'm just gonna have to ride this storm for a while and keep busy. Balls in her court, prob burst now though...lol !
I can't change her true feelings, esp when she is confused but I've had enough of this $*it and its time to move on, got any hot chicks from Detriot's number ???? ha ha
We have just had 3 days of 28-30 celsius - crap now though...usual, thats our summer.
Take care, cheers give me a shout when ya want.....
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