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why do husbands have to cheat and blame you!!!!

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Old 16th July 2003, 8:02 PM   #1
linaslate
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Angry why do husbands have to cheat and blame you!!!!

i am a 22 year old women and i am going through my first divorce. i am hurt by all of this going on. he left me for my best friend. he says i put him through hell because of my depression. i am very hurt by all this. you see i have put my daughter up for adoption and all and i needed someone there or someone going though the same thing. i am very upset because after all we have been through we have nothing out of it. i just started to move on with my life and i am going to be dating someone soon. i hate to feel like this in my next relationship so we are going to take our time. my best friend asked me why should i be mad at this. i told her she took my husband when she said she would never take him from me. well that was alot of bull on my behalf. now she has me a fear of trusting anyone. i do love my best friend but now i hate my ex husband. he hurt me too bad. it has been fourteen days and now he has been playing with my heart too much. if there is anyone out there that went through this same thing i would love to chat. thank you
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Old 16th July 2003, 8:06 PM   #2
jalexy
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i have not gone through this, but i have to say im sorry. i dont understand though, why you are even talking to your "best friend". she is NOT your friend. neither of those two people deserve your attention every again. they betrayed you.
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Old 16th July 2003, 8:58 PM   #3
Just A Girl2
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 754
Question?

A little confused here.

First of all, what age is your daughter? Is your (soon to be ex) husband your daughter's father?

So am I understanding you correctly in that since you and he will not be together, due to his cheating, you're going to give your daughter up for adoption??????

Why would you still love your best friend? The blame doesn't rest totally on your husband...your "best" friend (yeah, right) is equally to blame.....she was WRONG to get involved with someone's husband, let alone her best friend's husband. Why would you want anything to do with someone who obviously had so little (or none) respect for you, your marriage?

So again, you're giving up your daughter for adoption because of this?

And you're already going to start dating someone ? Whoa. You need to sort yourself out first......instead of jumping into another relationship.

WHY are you putting your child, your flesh and blood (who's an innocent party if all of this) up for adoption? I don't understand this. Did you just recently have her?

TO ADD: You wrote the following:

Quote:
he says i put him through hell because of my depression. i am very hurt by all this. you see i have put my daughter up for adoption and all and i needed someone there or someone going though the same thing.
Are you saying that having put your daughter up for adoption is what caused you to become depressed??

When you say you 'need someone there or going through the same thing', what did you mean by this? That in the process of putting your daughter up for adoption, because of doing that, you became depressed and really needed someone who could be there for you......OR......did you end up "meeting" someone (a guy) who you felt was a support for you.....and your hubby found out and then decided to get back at you by cheating with your best friend?

There's a lot of holes in this story here, please provide more info.

Last edited by Just A Girl2; 16th July 2003 at 9:02 PM.
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Old 16th July 2003, 9:29 PM   #4
linaslate
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Unhappy well let me explain!!!!!

my daughter was taken from me because of heath reasons. i gave her a better life. i did have her for two months and all. well u see i gotten sick two years after i had her. well my soon to be ex has been feeling for me a year and half ago. he said **** like our marriage was not going where, i was only attracted to her when i was not working, ect ect ect. well u seei coulda got her back but my ex was the problem. i love my daughter people and i am glad she is not with me right at this monmen because i have nothing to give her and i do not want her to see what is going on. she is adopted by good people and i see her twice a year. and i get picture's every month. on the best friend part i look at it this way of saying keep your friends closer but keep you enemys closer'. that is what i think. she will see how he truly is. i wish them luck because i met someone that wants to take his time and then maybe see where it happens. this has nothing to do with my little girl it has to do with the fact my ex left me when i needed some one. but u know what i am going on with my life and i am going to finish my eduction and go to colloage.
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Old 17th July 2003, 4:21 PM   #5
susanl
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Join Date: Apr 2003
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Well I will tell you that I wish you the best. I am in the process of a divorce right now of someone that I was married to for 17 years, two wonderful kids later and he is gone. He is totally a different human being now --nothing like the man I married at all. I have been mad, upset, hurt, sad, furious but i have a month to go until it is final and there is a light at the end of the tunnel--finally. I tell you though it has been long in coming. I like you have met someone that I care about and he cares about me--and all I really want is to be happy. I have one child going to college and one a jr in high school--and they are handling this extremely well--they to see what kind of person there so called father is. So I guess the only advice that I can tell you is to take one day at a time --there will be good days and bad days but in the end I think everything happens for a reason--and everyone gets there rightful dues. At least I hope so--hahah. I would love to talk with you--just let me know i would love to talk to someone that is going through the same thing that i am right now.
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