[Pixie]

My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. We have a house together and plan to marry in the next year or so.

One day I was leaving late to work and noticed that he had left his wallet. I went to call him and ask if he wanted me to bring it by his office. I opened the wallet and some porn pictures fell out along with some pictures of some girls I went to highschool with.
My heart sank.

Later I confronted him. (Not angrily), but still hurt because I felt that I wasnt good enough for him. He told me he was sorry and he needed to be more sexually active than we had been.
I agreed and that was the end.
That was a year ago.

I have noticed recently that he has been hiding his wallet from me. I asked for a couple of bucks for gas and he howled at me when I went to get it out of his wallet. I can tell he is hiding something.

The thing is, I am too. I have become alot more sexually explorative in the past year and I too look at porn some times
to get aroused. He doesnt know, but he would FREAK OUT if he knew. Even if he looks at it. I want to explore things and try new things but he gets angry if I say I want to try new things. I'm scared to tell him that I want a vibrator.

I know it isn't fair but I feel hurt because I don't compare to the woman that he looks at in the pictures. What should I do??? Also we're only 21. I need more than whats being offered.

[Pixie]

Awhile back I found some porn in my fiances wallet. We've been together for 5 years. I confrontes him (not angrily) but still alittle hurt because I felt I wasn't doing "my job" and I wasn't his first choice. He said he sexually needed more. I agreed and all seemed well.

A year later.(Now) I have been needing more sexually and want to ask him about bring a vibrator into the bedroom but I'm afraid he's going to Freak out. I also get the feeling sometimes that he still looks and porn. I don't understand whats so wrong with me and why he can't be happy with what we have. I feel like if he put his sexual energy into our bedroom he might not need porn.
Is this true? Also I feel so inadequet to the girls I saw in some of the pictures. I could never compare. What should I do?