can anybody help me please?i am often rude to people i like because i am so shy that i cannot look at them.for example, i leave without saying bye because i'm too shy to interrupt a conversation; i'll keep studying while somebody is trying to chat with me, even though i want to chat, but i look at my book to hide my eyes.if it's somebody i don't care much for, i can be very nice and friendly - but the more i care what they'll think of me, the harder it gets. i'm like an austrich i suppose - if i care, i hide my head in the sand, as if that'll help. =(
help! has anybody been like me? how did you manage?
There are a lot of books on self-esteem. Ask the librarian for help on finding some.
Go shopping and ask the clerks for help in finding your next purchase.
Start telling all the checkout persons at the grocery store, pharmacy, etc... 'have a nice day'. If you get the grumpiest clerk in all the lines, be sure and give her a complement on something, then watch the change in her. Carol Burnett said that one, btw.
Look people in the eye. This life is not a dress rehersal, don't waste time missing out on connecting with people.
These are just a few things, but the key is to slowly take yourself out of your comfortable routine/zone. Doing things that are uncomfortable to us, causes us to push our boundaries out little by little. You can do it. Start connecting with the universe, and you will learn who to trust and who you cannot trust. Trust your gut feeling on some people though.
I totally understand how you feel. I'm very shy and have very few friends b/c people perceive me as a bitch who doesn't want to be bothered. You are not alone.
I totally understand where your comming from. I feel like in some sense I am the same way. Your probubly a very blunt person when you do speak that people take it as your being rude, or even if your not speaking that your rude. I have never been told I am rude, but been told that I am blunt, that I scare people because I am so blunt, that I am intimidating. I feel like that is why I am the way I am. People totally think that if your not bubbly or talkative, then you don't want to be bothered. I get that alot and that is why I don't have very many friends. Now, when it comes to people I can talk to them, but when it comes to someone I am attracted too, I do what you do, I barry my head. I to have very low self esteem and it has brought me to where I am today. Feel like I am going to get nowhere with the way I am, but people have always under estimated people who are shy. I know I am shy to a certain extent, and know it has to be taken care of. I really hope Ihave helped you out. Good luck to you.
I did not read the response above mine, but I am glad to here that there are people out that that I can relate too. People think I am very unfriendly, don't want to be bothered, intimidatiing, blunt (saying it how it is without taking into consideration peoples feelings), just everything. Do people that are not shy really understand people who are. Does not seem like it, and it seems like it will aways be a battle. Just keep your head up high and work on improving your ways if your not pleased with yourself. I can't help but think it is great to know people are out there who are like me. Good luck to you.
I think the key is finding like-minded people, with a spice of the bubbly types thrown in for good measure and balance.
I do classes or writers clubs or readers clubs or whatever to find like-minded people. Heck, this board is probably filled with birds of the same feather, intelligent and deep thinkers.
Question... Do you find those exasperatingly cheerful, bubbly people annoying? I think I do, or perhaps I'm just jealous. I want to be what my old boss used to call, "fat, dumb, and happy".
Well, this mixed-up approach to interaction with others is basically a product of insecurity. In order to avoid such drudgery, you will need to get-a-hold of yourself and realize that your signals are crossed! If you're insecure to begin with, you'll misinterpret the responses of others. You must be good at something, everybody is. If you're well-read, then gain the interest of others by using excerpts that relate to their experiences. Believe me, they're more than willing to be open if you let them!
If you're educated play it to the max. Learn to use your skills. If you're just average in the looks department, ya can always bring it up a notch or two with exercise, etc. There's no reason to 'bow' to others, they're not that formidable! They'll always disagree at times, of course. But in general, there's no real 'rights' or 'wrongs' in a social setting. Everyone's been pretty much not brought up in a barn LoL.
__________________
My needs way surpass any consequences for my deeds.
I agree that this has to do with insecurity and self-consciousness. Until one's comfortable in their skin, s/he cannot interact well with others.
You may always stay reserved, but there's a big difference between reserved and rude/shy. I guess the best bet is to do whatever you're comfortable with, and not worrying about what others will think - who are they to judge you, anyway?
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
rude/shy bind
LoL.
Linear Mode
