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I Like My Bf's Best Friend....help!

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Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 12th June 2003, 2:37 AM   #1
shybabygirl
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I Like My Bf's Best Friend....help!

[color=blue]Hi everybody. Im new here, nice to meet you all.I need some advice. Well theres this ''guy'' I met a little over 2 years ago, hes very cute( looks like a model) and at the time I was attracted to him. In all this time I never gave him any signs neather did he.
The reason for this is I have a bf, and their friends so I never even thought of ''the guy'' liking me, even though at some point I wanted him to, due to the fact that I liked him. The thing is I met this ''guy'' before my bf and I was attracted to him , then I met my bf and we went out. And I see ''him'' alot because he's allways at my bf's house so its been hard for me but I never told ''the guy'' anything but lately he's been giving me signs that he likes me and Im confused.
I thought I didnt feel like this anymore but everything changed I think Im still attracted to him I mean just imagine the PERSON YOU'VE LIKED 4 so long LIKES YOU TOO, guys its like that pretty girl all the guys want whos pretty ,sexy sweet face nice bod, whom you like, actually looks at you even better likes you! Girls imagine the cutest guy who everyone likes and wants hot bod.. cute face.. actually asks you to dance even better to go out...Well lately he's been giving me signs that he likes me, and well isnt that what we all want when we like some one? Yeah right.
We saw each other one day on our way to my bfs house so we walked together. Eather way '' the guy'' seemed to get mad when guys looked at me. He told my bf that guys were looking at me alot and that he got mad, but that in a way it felt nice to know he had such a pretty girl walking by his side. He also said Im very pretty and he understands why everyone looks.
Things like those make me feel he does like me he also kind of flirts with me but I know he tries not to show it because of my bf. I like him sence along time ago, I would love to kiss him I dont wanna feel like this but I cant help it. so what do ya think ?What should I do?[/color]
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Old 12th June 2003, 2:45 AM   #2
Bill
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If you can't control your urges, then you need to explain this to your boyfriend and leave him. Do not cheat. These thoughts that you have seem quite strong and you may be tempted to act on them. If you want to be faithful to your boyfriend, forget about this other guy.
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Old 12th June 2003, 2:59 AM   #3
shybabygirl
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Thankyou

[color=blue]Hi, first of all nice to meet you. Thankyou for your advice. Thats what I want to do, tell my bf and stay with him because I love him alot but its hard. I mean if I do tell him he'll feel betrayed by his friend and it will ruin their friendship (over me) I cant let that happen, he'll also think I like his friend and will back off so ill be happy. Also Ive been faithfull to him I HATE feeling like this. But I cant help it. I dont know what to do. Do you know of anyway to stop feeling atracted to someone? If you do please tell me. Thankyou.[/color]
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Old 12th June 2003, 3:07 AM   #4
Bill
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Someone told me once, "Picture the person taking a s***".


Note: that's not my advice.

Anyhow, what you should do is try to find the flaws in the person you like. You need to amplify those flaws to the point where you can easily justify not liking the person. Everyone has flaws; focus on them.
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Old 12th June 2003, 3:21 AM   #5
shybabygirl
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Your a genius

[color=blue]Your right!!!
Ive read that in psychology books. I hadnt thought about it.
Thankyou very much.I study psychology, but your brain goes blank when your on the spot. Eather way if you ever need advice on anything Id be glad to help.

Also one more thing...
I know honesty is very important in a relationship so is trust and comunication. But I dont know if I should tell my bf. I told him about how I used to like his friend and I think that hurt him, it was along time ago though, so I dont know how he'll take it. He loves me alot and I dont want to hurt him. He already suspects of his friend but he dosent say anything cause hes not sure.
What do you think?

Well thanks alot. [/color]
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Old 12th June 2003, 3:27 AM   #6
Bill
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I think you should deal with this problem by yourself. A problem is not a problem anymore with a solution. You already know the solution from my previous post.

Telling this to your boyfriend will only make him sad and jealous, two feelings that aren't needed.

Think what would happen if every thought that you had came out without processing it; every thought you had came out as audible speech. We would not survive with other humans. The world would fall into conflict.

On the other side of things, there is a quote "I'd rather have you hate me for telling you the truth, than love me for telling you a lie.". You need not follow this quote for your situation. If you did cheat, then this quote would apply. For a thought, you need not divulge the information to your boyfriend.

Work on solving the problem.
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Old 12th June 2003, 9:45 AM   #7
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Tell your boyfriend

I think you should tell your boyfriend. First, his friend is not truly his friend and he should know it. Second, if you do not have honesty in your relationship then what do you really have? Finally if the roles were reversed wouldn't you want your boyfriend to talk to you and tell you his feelings and the truth about your best friend? You are emotionally getting more and more involved and will end up hurting your boyfriend and yourself in the future if you are not honest now with your boyfriend and remove the temptation. I wish you luck.
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Old 12th June 2003, 10:25 AM   #8
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I agree with Bill. Need not make your bf unhappy or blow up matters. Resolve it yourself through self-talk. You must be sure who you want to be with for definite.
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