[Madeline]

Hey there!

I have a rant today--my mother drives me absolutely nuts. She is a manic depressive--and for anyone out there with addiction in their family--she is like a compulsive addict in need of an attention fix.

Good, bad or ugly--she doesn't care. She just wants to call up and PLAY the game. Oh she makes me so mad.

I'm attempting to put her on a diet--at least in terms of the attention she gets from me, and today, she broke through--usually I screen my calls...but I picked up the phone because I've had a lot of important calls come through on Caller ID listing as Anoymous.

I know better than to get invested in the content of these conversations, and I know better than to become upset by her nasty, critical thoughts. And I know better than to actually expect her to be able to respect boundaries.

So--I guess I'm writing today to vent. I deserve to not caretake this abusive woman who has no interest in reflection, self-soothing, or taking care of herself in any capacity.

If she is not taking care of herself and using the resources specifically allocated to her (she gets a FREE therapist, and won't even go...), I am certainly not going to play her misery game.

I have to keep reminding myself...Thanks for the vent...back to work now.

M

[Tony T]

It's great that you recognize the problem and aren't becoming codependent by playing into or supporting the pathology. You have some real insight into the situation and are insisting on enforcing your boundaries. That's great.

I think there are effective treatments for your mother that are availble if she will admit to having a problem. Short of that, just give her the very minimum time required and don't worry yourself over her. You didn't come into this world to kiss her insane butt.