[gvsu]

Ok, i'm sure a similar thing has happened before, but I didn't see any posts.. here's my story:

I'm 24 (fyi) and I was dating a girl (22 y/o), for 3 months. She recently got divorced (we started dating like 2 weeks after the seperation). I've known her for like 3 years but never in a romantic sense. Well we started dating, and from the begining I was aware that she wanted to date other people. Well, that never really happend. We started spending more and more time with each other, and I REALLY enjoy being with her. This is the first time I've dated anyone, and could spend every day with her, and not get tired of her at all. I haven't told her I love her, but I know deep inside I do.

Well last sunday we were laying in bed and she mentioned she was going out with someone, and after some prodding I found out it was another guy. So we had the date other people convertation again. So she went out with the guy, and she's told me (and mutual friends) that she didn't have that much fun because she was thinking of me. Things obviously haven't been the same since last week. I went from seeing her everyday, to seeing her maybe twice last week, and talking to her a few times on the phone.

I guess I just don't know what to do. I seriously love this girl, I haven't been sleeping/eating right since, I feel the worst I've ever felt after something like this. I was in a 4 year realationship that ended a few years ago, and I didn't feel near this bad. I don't know what to do. She wants to still hang out, but I want to hang out, hold hands and do all that other cheesy stuff. Any advice?..

[Tony T]

For Pete's sake, you started seeing this lady only two weeks after she separated from her husband and well before the divorce was final. You are a rebound for her like nobody I've seen in a long time.

Yes, something may come of the two of you. But this lady needs time to heal from her failed marriage. I'm quite surprised she's even dating at all at this time. It's pretty unhealthy to leave a marriage and go right out and start seeing people...but that's her business.

See her when you can and let some time pass. However, you would have stood a LOT better chance with her had you not been in her face so early in her divorce proceedings. A guy who meets her and starts dating her some months after her divorce is final will have a lot better chance with her...that will be the time she will probably be in the final stages of healing.

Your best strategy is to back off, give her some space, call her once in a while, see her once in a while, and let her know you're interested in her whenever she is ready. Let her call the shots, otherwise you will lose in this particular case.

[gvsu]

I would like to to say one thing in my defense, this whole thing got started because she called me and asked me out, I was seriously skeptical about the whole thing from the begining. I know I should've seen this comming a mile down the road but.. well yeah..

Well, the red flags are there... I can see them from miles away. Do what Tony mentioned and distance yourself. If you fail to listen to his advice... go ahead and spoil her, show her how much you love her, put her up on a pedastal. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine Ahhhh.. some people just need to learn the hard way huh?

Good luck