[groedy]

Hi all,

I'm still learning from my breakup. My posts before have been about the week leading up to the break. I would like some feedback about the lead up to this and maybe if I was in the wrong. Are these signs of a disinterest? -multi-tasking while we are on the phone, being very poor about making plans (although she was always this way), not initiating any physical contact (she wouldn't pull away, but certainly didn't make it as easy on me.

Are these above things a sign of a simple loss of interest, distrust, or something else? The reason I am unsure and am still frustrated is I never fell for someone so quickly and made a pointed effort to not call all the time or text all of the time so that I was giving her space and not coming off as a crazy person. So why I am not getting over it is I feel like if she stopped listening as much or texting as much could be because she was also afraid that I was losing interest. When we did have our big argument about trust and wanting to see each other, I did tell her that any text I got from her made my day and I was also mindful about phone calls because of her busy school schedule. The one thing I know I did that was a huge strike in her mind was I told her how with other girls, I tend to let them come to me rather than do a lot of chasing. I think she viewed this as very arrogant.

Lastly, I've always felt like for someone that I genuinely like and think is a good person, I tend to forgive quickly and give a lot of slack. I feel like I got none and she never said how she felt until the final week of our relationship when she suspected me of looking at other girls.

So not sure if this is a venting post or looking for feedback, but that is why I am so confused about the NC/getting her back. Technically, I am the dumpee, but because of her trust issues and other assumptions of me that she didn't voice, I feel like she is dumping a guy that is not really me (it takes me a while to let my guard down, and I certainly come off as having an ego until you get to know me). It sucks because in the first few weeks, she was introducing me to all friends and family, who were making jokes about "welcome to the family" and "having babies." Of course, I laughed and joked that we would see how it goes, but deep down, I really was excited. I am not the typical guy that gets nervous about these types of things, but again didn't want to come off as crazy. I never asked her if she was embarrassed by what they were saying or if she was really in the same stage of life that I was at.

So at the end of the road, I told her that I really cared for her, but still held back on all of the details. When she made it official that she wasn't willing to work it out and gave the "just not the right time for us now" excuse, my response was a very aloof "ok, I'm good with this, let me know when your schedule changes and we'll try again." So I am like the opposite of a commitment-phobe. I have to consciously hide how willing to commit I really am.

*my disclaimer - for all that have read my posts before, sorry for all of the mello-drama of my posts for such a short relationship, but I have done a lot of short term dating that has been terrible and very little long term dating, so these scenarios are very new to me.