[Mrs_AJ]

Hi guys,

Certain events have been taking place between me and my SO, events which are making me feel needy, belittled and compromised. Just to re-cap, both me and my SO are medical students. I'm in the UK, he is on a Carribean Island. We have hectic schedueles, his being more gruesome than mine. Nevertheless...

I want to ask - is it acceptable for your SO to:

1. Not text back.

This happened to me 2 weeks ago. He went to a nearby Island where he had clinical rotations and was doing night shifts. But he never texted me to say this before he left. And his phone was not workng on that ISland. I went through hell, I called 20+ times and texted and emailed. I cried as I found it very stressful and worrying. And according to him due to his scheduele, he couldn't take time out to email or contact me. For 8 freaking days! I explained how this was unacceptable, and he appologised later and said that he was angry as I had blasted him in a text just before he left. ( I did this because he didnt contact me for 3days before he left and after 6 texts of mine).

2. To go out during the middle of a conversation you are having on messenger because his/hers internet broke down, without texting you and saying "Listen, sorry internet is down and am going for dinner. Have a good night, and I'll text you tomorrow. Let's talk then."

He did this tonight. He went offline in the middle of a conversation, I then decided to call him a little later. He was out. I just felt stupid. The phone cut (skype problems) and I didn't call back. Not wanting to ruin his only evening out in months, I just texted him saying have a good time. He didnt text back.

I think that these little occurences; not texting me back, not keeping in touch the way I need him to, have built up in me and left me feeling angry with myself. There have been several instances where I've had to explain to him how this has made me feel. We text on average 2wice a day - 1) Come online let's have a chat and 2) Good nite. We're currently chatting most evenings, but we cut down when we have exams.

But for me, a text is a conversation. It's your SO, the person who you only have contact with through these means, engaging with you, wanting to say or convey something. By not replying, or even delaying a reply when you're free to text back is for me unacceptable and careless.

There is a lot on stake. He is coming to the Uk for a year to do rotations here so we can spend that time together. So he is commited, I believe him. I know he loves me much.

Am I wrong? I am worried about these communication issues will make me resentful in the end. Because for every time something like this occurs, I feel a dislike and am dissapointed for liking him. Like a feeling of - I deserve better than this and better than him. And after having cried to my best friend about it, I feel embarrased when I tell her his excuse. Because I can tell that she doesn't approve. And that I have gone blind.

And yes, believe me. I have told him what I expect in terms of communication and he know it is reasonable. All I need is to be updated.

He has left me feeling sad tonight. But I am almost embarrased to discuss this with him. It seems as if I am the one having an issue with communication all the time. But I;m not. He is.

What do I do? Should I just back off?