[lissar]

Hi everyone,

I am so glad I found this forum. I've been struggling a bit lately. I'm a MW and my H and I lived on separate coasts for a year...he moved back in Sept. Our relationship is good, but it's lacking in the physical department.

Once I was living on my own last fall, I met a MM, and I really liked him a lot, we had a great chemistry and I was totally attracted to him, probably the first time I felt that way about someone in like 15 years. We emailed and chatted and met once which went great. I thought it might turn into something but then he told me he decided to be with another girlfriend. In a weird way, I wouldn't have been as upset if he decided to go back with his W...but another girlfriend, that hurt.

We were in LC after that because he wanted to stay friends, but then he asked me to his house to sleep with him and I said no. Then I didn't hear from him for months. I would email him once a month or so, but no answers so I stopped. Then this past summer I sent him a short note and he answered. He was separated and no longer with the girlfriend. So we met up and I asked all these serious questions and he actually answered them. I was very upfront with my situation as well, that I was not planning on leaving my H, etc. We met again a couple of times after that.

For a couple of weeks it was nice, then I stopped hearing from him as regularly...but I kind of let it go because I wasn't looking for anything super serious and I got the impression he wasn't either. It was just fun to hang out. But then he kept making plans with me and then canceling and it got to the point where it was rude so I called him on it, and it turned out he was still dealing with the girlfriend, at the "end of a dying relationship."

I was upset, and realized I let myself get too attached to him, even though I was trying so hard not to. We went out a couple of more times. After the last time though, after I got home, he started texting me and got into this big discussion about me and all the things I need to change about my life, so I called him and he was talking about how I had these unrealistic expectations of our relationship and I need to do this and do that to be happy...it was weird. He sounded so angry too, and I had no idea where this all came from.

So I was like, okay... Then he wanted to meet up again but cancelled and I haven't heard from him since. I've tried asking him what's going on but I'm just ignored. My problem is I know I should move on but I'm just having trouble. I've emailed him a couple of times but that's it. I just hate being suddenly ignored with no reason at all. Has that happened to anyone else? Just a sudden NC with no warning? What does that mean?

And now that my H is back in my every day life, the fact that I'm still thinking about the other guy isn't helping that situation. So I'm a bit of mess.

Thanks for listening.