[Edward10]

Here are the four guys I’ve been going for coffee/lunch with–
1. A talks about himself all the time and he is a decent guy but just totally self-absorbed,
2. B is terrified emotionally of getting involved but seems to be a decent guy and is starting to trust me after six months,
3. C is married and wants an affair. Very lonely man. Too weak to get a divorce is my theory.
4. D actually said that he isn’t responsible for any of a woman’s needs and that his only responsibility would be to indicate if he was committed or not to a relationship. Oh and he thinks gifts are unwarranted.

I’m obviously attracting these types for some reason, but still – does humanity have to be so disappointing?

[Taramere]

Originally Posted by Edward10

Here are the four guys I’ve been going for coffee/lunch with–
1. A talks about himself all the time and he is a decent guy but just totally self-absorbed,

Possible way for you to respond: Tease him about his tendency to talk about himself, and encourage him to show an interest in your life as well as his own. He maybe just isn't aware of how much he does this.

2. B is terrified emotionally of getting involved but seems to be a decent guy and is starting to trust me after six months,

Maybe he's been holding back on getting too involved because he's aware that A, C and D are also on the scene.

3. C is married and wants an affair. Very lonely man. Too weak to get a divorce is my theory.

There don't seem to be many pluses to continuing the coffee sessions with C.

4. D actually said that he isn’t responsible for any of a woman’s needs and that his only responsibility would be to indicate if he was committed or not to a relationship. Oh and he thinks gifts are unwarranted.

D sounds totally anally retentive. His bathroom probably smells vile due to a combination of constipation and a belief that air fresheners are an unwarranted waste of money.

I’m obviously attracting these types for some reason, but still – does humanity have to be so disappointing?

I don't think you're doing too badly. A and B sound okay. D sounds bitter. C sounds like a whining, married waste of your time.

[Edward10]

Thank you for your input. Much appreciated.

A- I told him once that he was too focused on himself, but he just is like a locomotive steam train about talking about himself. Relentless.
B - Yes. He is actually one of the more interesting of the bunch.
C - the married one. Yes. That one is just for flirtatious fun.
D - How can he genuinely think that he doesn't have to provide for a woman's needs? Mind you, A is doing the same thing, but just more charming about it.

Maybe B is the one to focus on.

I need to start meeting men that aren't all about themselves. But I married one that was very nice and chatty and he turned out to be gay. So maybe this is just the way men are. Makes me query why I need one at all. I already have a child.

[onewillburn]

A probably just lacks social skills.
B and D sound like they've gotten hurt in the past and are trying to make sure it doesn't happen again. B was broken up with after a long term relationship, D sounds like he got screwed over after he helped provide for a girl who possibly took advantage of him/cheated on him.

At the very least, A and D are open about how they intend to deal with your needs. Of the choices, though, I'd say B sounds like the safer bet based off of the information you've given us.