[USMCHokie]

This isn't really about trying to get back together with an ex...just whether it's ok to still care about the well-being of an ex...and to think about it from time to time...

I was reading an article today about how unemployment benefits are running out for a lot of people and that got me thinking about my ex and hoping that she's doing alright...

She had been laid off a few months before we started dating, and so the entire time we were together, she had been diligently looking for work without much success...I guess me being in her life gave her something new to look forward to, something to distract her from real life...so we spent a lot of time together since I was still in school full-time and she really didn't have anything to do during the day...and it made things move really fast and feel so right...and what started out as something fun to keep her mind off of being unemployed turned into something very real...we started talking about marriage and all that only after about 5 or 6 months...and I think it hit her that she didn't have her life together and it'd be a mistake for both of us to be in such a serious relationship at this point in our lives...whether it was just a line she was feeding me or not (I honestly believe she was sincere...), she was right...we both dodged a bullet on that one...

But anytime I read or hear about the economy or the unemployment rate, I think about her and her family...and just hope that they're doing ok...I'm pretty sure she's still without work, and it hurts me to know that she's struggling with her life...she found someone new, which I'm sure is just something fresh and new to distract her and keep her mind occupied while she's going through this...give her something to be happy about...just like I was...maybe she'll even fall for this new guy...I don't know...

About a month after we had broken up, I had a brief chat with her mom...and she told me that we weren't in each other's lives anymore, so it wasn't my place anymore to care whether she's doing ok...and hearing that hurt a little bit...I know that the relationship is over and I accept that, but am I not allowed to care about the well-being of someone that I loved so much...? She made it feel like I'd be hurting her to even care...

Is it ok in the coping process to be reminded of the ex and wonder whether her life did get better after the breakup? It would kill me if her life truly would have been better had we stayed together...but I guess that's some sort of savior complex I have going...and it's not my place or time to judge that...

Thoughts...?